IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some countries have introduced a law to limit working hours for employees. Why is this law introduced? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

#countries #law #limit #hours #employees #development
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There are dramatically increased working
hours
 in rival cities.
People
 are requested to work overtime without extra incentives to reduce their living standards. Some countries would like to implement a law to ban long working
hours
.
This
 essay reveals the reason why the rule is required and what advantages are to the national development.
To begin
 with, the government recognises a sort of disease is caused by excessive working time. When
people
 stay at the workplace after normal working
hours
, reduced leisure moments can disallow
workers
 to do sports activities to improve their bodies and reduce working pressure and anxiety.
For example
,
according to
 a university study, the number of
people
 with heart disease is increasing
due to
 a lack of regular exercise. Exercise not only improves physical
health
 but
also
 enhances mental
health
.
In addition
, I think that a rule set-up can bring a sort of advantage to our society and company. In terms of public
health
 sectors, the number of
people
 suffering from diseases can be reduced if the
workers
 have more time to do relaxing exercise and team sports. Doctors can focus their resources on treating the real necessities.
Moreover
, reducing working
hours
 can help to improve the company's productivity. The firm encourages staff to complete their task on time and helps to reduce the overhead costs. Banning long working hour have numerous benefits to our country.
To sum up
, long working hour for employee has certain drawbacks for
workers
 themselves. Implementing the rules can enhance
workers
'
health
 condition utilise public resources with a better plan and increase job productivity
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task response
The essay addresses the question by discussing the reasons for introducing a law to limit working hours and presents arguments for its positive impact. However, some points lack development and clarity, affecting the overall task response.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear overall structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the connections between ideas in the body paragraphs could be further strengthened to improve coherence and cohesion.
lexical resource
The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary and uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are instances of unclear or awkward phrasing, and some vocabulary choices could be more precise.
grammatical range
The essay shows a good command of grammar with varied sentence structures. However, there are inconsistencies in verb tense usage and a few errors in word choice and sentence construction.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • work-life balance
  • productivity
  • well-being
  • fatigue
  • stress
  • mental health
  • innovation
  • leisure industry
  • economic impact
  • labor costs
  • competitiveness
  • workforce
  • part-time workers
  • shift workers
  • sectors
  • cultural shift
  • personal time
  • global impact
  • standardizing
  • employee well-being
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