IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

In spite of the advanced made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?

There are many people all around the
world
Use synonyms
 that go hungry
while
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 numerous advancements are made in agriculture nowadays. The problem of
world
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 hunger is caused by the unfunctional regulatory systems of governments and
also
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 the financial problems of society and
this
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 enigma can be tackled by better observations of the
World
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 Health Organization. On the one hand, agriculture can provide many
countries
Use synonyms
 with their nutritional needs.
However
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, the functionality of the providing systems is mainly unauthorized or only regulated by the governments which can be an issue.
This
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 is because providing all of the population with proper care and food is a complex matter and can only be executed by the governments of
countries
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.
In addition
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, the family’s financial ability to purchase suitable food is
also
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 another cause of going hungry in a country.
For example
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, in Ethiopia 3 out of 10 children was reported to have nutritional deficiencies in a survey by The New York Times newspaper.
On the other hand
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, WHO has made progress throughout the years by elevating the percentage of healthy children in some locations,
nonetheless
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, there are still many
countries
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 in the
world
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 that cannot be supervised by
this
Linking Words
 or any other force because of their responders.
For instance
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, in Afghanistan the reports of malnutrition in families are unclear and the numbers reported by the forces are not reliable to the international organizations.
To sum up
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, because of the lack of management the resources are not provided properly throughout the population and
although
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 some of the hungry
countries
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 are under the supervision of the WHO many others are still not observed by
this
Linking Words
 or any official organization.

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task response
Make sure to fully address all aspects of the prompt and provide a clear response to the question. Develop your ideas further to provide a more comprehensive analysis.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction and a conclusion. However, work on organizing your ideas within paragraphs to ensure a coherent flow of information.
lexical resource
Expand your range of vocabulary and use more precise and varied language to enhance your essay. Consider using academic language and terminology to strengthen your arguments.
grammatical range
Your grammatical range is quite good with a few minor errors. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement and sentence structure to further improve your grammatical accuracy.
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