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Band 5.5

Some people say that e-boos and modern technology will totally replace traditional newspapers and magazines. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #e-boos #technology #newspapers #magazines
It is an irrefutable fact that in
this
 modern era , an increasing number of more and more humans believe that with the rise of e-
books
 comes the decline in paper
books
 . Many individuals hold different beliefs about it . Personally l definitely with the above-expressed statement and there are many compelling reasons to support my view. In
this
 following essay, l intend two reasons for
this
.
To begin
 with, one of the main advantages is that with the rise of e-
books
 comes the decline in paper ones.
In addition
 to
this
, some individuals see
this
 as a good step forward
while
 others do not .
This
 is the reason, it is very comfortable to carry during the day .
For instance
, you can carry it with you on public transport and
this
 kind of place.
That is
 why, most young people are using it in their daily life. I
also
 use it in my daily studies.
On the other hand
, technologies are growing day by day . Young people are
also
 changing
according to
 the times and using trending things. One of the trending things is e-
books
.
Therefore
 youngsters are eager to use them .
Furthermore
, humans can purchase some
books
 as easily as pie. Because well-known masterpieces are too expensive in the whole world. Yet, individuals purchase these kinds of
books
 through the Internet at a low price .
This
 is the reason, a lot of humans choose electronic
books
 during their work or study . By way of my conclusion, l once again reaffirm my position.
That is
 , electronic
books
 are more useful rather than paper ones.
Submitted by asqar4997 on

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coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear structure and cohesiveness in presenting ideas. There is a need for better organization and linking of ideas in the essay.
task achievement
The essay does not fully address the task and lacks comprehensive ideas. It is important to provide a balanced and well-supported opinion on the given topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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