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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people regard work as the most important thing in life and have little interest in anything else. Other people are more enthusiastic about their hobbies and leisure interests than their jobs. Discuss both these attitudes and give your own opinion.

#people #work #life #interest #hobbies #leisure #interests #jobs #attitudes
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Some argue that
work
 is a vital thing in our lives and have little interest in anything else,
Whereas
 other individuals are more energetic about their pastime and leisure activity than their
occupation
. In my opinion, both
occupation
 and hobbies are significant to balance
life
.
This
 essay discusses both views in the following paragraphs.
To begin
 with,
work
 is the main major factor that provides several opportunities to obtain a good
life
 and satisfaction
of
Change preposition
with
show examples
salary
Correct article usage
a salary
show examples
 for
living
Add an article
a living
show examples
. Especially, the increasing competition has led employees to
work
 more than 45 hours a week to be productive to save their
work
opportunity
Fix the agreement mistake
opportunities
show examples
.
Moreover
, some workers become workaholics and become depressed, which causes mental and physical health problems because lose chances to interact with other people and do not have free time like hanging out with friends and spending time with family.
On the contrary
, being energetic about your hobbies and leisure activities
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 benefits for mental and physical health problems. Especially, by coming into contact with other individuals, hanging out with friends and spending time with family to relax and relieve stress.
Moreover
, do some
activity
Fix the agreement mistake
activities
show examples
 that you are good at to learn skills and expand your knowledge which can maybe offer you an
occupation
 opportunity in the near future. In conclusion, in my point of view, both
occupation
 and hobbies are benefits for living and balancing our
life
. It allows us to obtain numerous opportunities that provide a quality in our
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
 and satisfaction for living. Despite some drawbacks, we should adjust and balance for
Add an article
a
show examples
better
life
 in future.
Submitted by anusya.boo on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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