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Writing Samples
Band 7

4.The graph below shows the number of overseas visitors who came to Japan for differen purposes between 1990 and 2010.Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

4.The graph below shows the number of overseas visitors who came to Japan for differen purposes between 1990 and 2010.Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
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The line chart below displays the number of travelers that went to
Japan
Use synonyms
 for business, holiday or to visit
friends
Use synonyms
 from 1990 to 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, business and holiday purposes fluctuated significantly over the entire time
period
Use synonyms
. The reason for visiting
friends
Use synonyms
 increased rapidly. Business in 1990 was the main purpose why
people
Use synonyms
 visited
Japan
Use synonyms
, 6
million
Use synonyms
 individuals travelled with
this
Linking Words
 aim. The number of travellers rose consistently during the next 10
years
Use synonyms
, to a little under 10
million
Use synonyms
, and from 2000 to 2010 it varied considerably, finalising the
period
Use synonyms
 with around 9
million
Use synonyms
 visitors, maintaining its first place. Around 5.5
million
Use synonyms
 individuals travelled to
Japan
Use synonyms
 because of holidays in 1990,
in
Correct word choice
and in
show examples
 the next 20
years
Use synonyms
 the quantity fluctuated sharply. Between 1990 and 1995, reached its lowest point, with just 4
million
Use synonyms
, and over the next 10
years
Use synonyms
 it grew significantly, arriving at 7
million
Use synonyms
, and during the
last
Linking Words
 five
years
Use synonyms
 it varied rapidly, ending the
period
Use synonyms
 at 7
million
Use synonyms
. Visiting
friends
Use synonyms
 was the reason with least
people
Use synonyms
 at the start of the
period
Use synonyms
, with just below 4
million
Use synonyms
, it grew steadily between 1990 and 2005,
where in
Correct your spelling
wherein
show examples
 2005, almost 7
million
Use synonyms
 tourists went to
Japan
Use synonyms
 to see
friends
Use synonyms
. During the
last
Linking Words
 five
years
Use synonyms
 of the
period
Use synonyms
, the number of
people
Use synonyms
 dropped gradually, ending with just over 6
million
Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
 keeping its
last
Linking Words
 place.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words japan, friends, period, people, million, years with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fluctuated" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "rapidly" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significantly" was used 2 times.
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