In an era of globalisation, some people think that studying abroad is the best way to attain a well paid job while others believe other options are better. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In the fast-paced era, people believe studying in
foreign
Add an article
a foreign
show examples
country will get
well-paid
Correct article usage
a well-paid
show examples
job or position in a company, whilst others think that there are better options rather than
study
Wrong verb form
studying
show examples
abroad. From my point of view, both perspectives have pros and cons which will be explained in the paragraph below.
To begin
, many Asian parents believe it is the best way to send their kids to get higher
degree
Fix the agreement mistake
degrees
show examples
in
develop
Wrong verb form
developed
show examples
country
Change the noun form
countries
show examples
such
as
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
Kingdom and
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
States. There are a lot of experts and resources that allow their children to develop their technical, soft, and practice skills.
For instance
, based on
survey
Add an article
a survey
show examples
in China, mostly a family from high income prefer their kids to continue either higher or secondary study in Ivy League or famous college in
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
Kingdom. The first and foremost reason is
because
Replace the word
that
show examples
they want their children to be
consultant
Add an article
a consultant
show examples
or
good
Change preposition
in good
show examples
position in
big
Correct article usage
the big
show examples
4 company after their graduates.
On the other hand
, most of the company rely on
graduates
Change noun form
graduates'
graduate's
show examples
experince
Correct your spelling
experience
rather than people who
graduates
Change the verb form
graduate
show examples
in
Change preposition
from
show examples
foreign
Add an article
a foreign
show examples
country.
For example
,
Submitted by semangatbanget.s2 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
The essay addresses the given topic, but the points need to be supported with clear examples and a balanced argument.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion need to be more developed and clearly present the main points of the essay. Additionally, each paragraph needs to be coherent and contribute to the overall argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: