In an era of globalisation, some people think that studying abroad is the best way to attain a well paid job while others believe other options are better. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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In the fast-paced era, people believe studying in
foreign
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a foreign
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country will get
well-paid
Correct article usage
a well-paid
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job or position in a company, whilst others think that there are better options rather than
study
Wrong verb form
studying
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abroad. From my point of view, both perspectives have pros and cons which will be explained in the paragraph below.
To begin
, many Asian parents believe it is the best way to send their kids to get higher
degree
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degrees
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in
develop
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developed
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country
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countries
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such
as
United
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the United
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Kingdom and
United
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the United
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States. There are a lot of experts and resources that allow their children to develop their technical, soft, and practice skills.
For instance
, based on
survey
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a survey
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in China, mostly a family from high income prefer their kids to continue either higher or secondary study in Ivy League or famous college in
United
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the United
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Kingdom. The first and foremost reason is
because
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that
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they want their children to be
consultant
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a consultant
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or
good
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in good
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position in
big
Correct article usage
the big
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4 company after their graduates.
On the other hand
, most of the company rely on
graduates
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graduates'
graduate's
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experince
Correct your spelling
experience
rather than people who
graduates
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graduate
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in
Change preposition
from
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foreign
Add an article
a foreign
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country.
For example
,
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task response
The essay addresses the given topic, but the points need to be supported with clear examples and a balanced argument.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion need to be more developed and clearly present the main points of the essay. Additionally, each paragraph needs to be coherent and contribute to the overall argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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