IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Although more and more people read news on the Internet, newspapers remain the main source of news for the majority of people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #news #internet #newspapers #source #majority
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The
unprecendented
Correct your spelling
unprecedented
 growth of social media currently takes
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
advantage compared to other information channels. Even though most people still read
newpapers
Correct your spelling
newspapers
 in their daily
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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, I believe that
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
 are getting their daily updates
by
Change preposition
through
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 social media
dominantly
Rephrase
apply
show examples
. In my point of view, I moderately disagree with the old-fashioned
newspapers
Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 keeping abreast
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
Use synonyms
news
Add an article
the news
show examples
. On one hand, social media no doubt
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
revolutionise various industries for several years, which mostly regards
to
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apply
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the younger generations who
has
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have
show examples
 grown
with
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up with
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 computers and smartphones, resulting in authors and journalists
to spend
Change the verb form
spending
show examples
 time and effort on online
news
Use synonyms
 rather than hard-copy ones. Beyond that, another reason for
Use synonyms
Internet
Correct article usage
the Internet
show examples
 to get popular is to
obtaining
Wrong verb form
obtain
show examples
latest
Correct article usage
the latest
show examples
news
Use synonyms
 with objective perspectives, because of the free-speech area that
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
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 ensures society
while
Linking Words
 adults commute their work.
For instance
Linking Words
, most political
news
Use synonyms
 in developing countries
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 mainly and
firstly
Linking Words
 get forbidden
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
Use synonyms
Internet
Add an article
the Internet
show examples
 rather than
Use synonyms
newspapers
Change preposition
in newspapers
show examples
. Another reason is,
online
Correct word choice
that online
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news
Use synonyms
offer
Change the verb form
offers
show examples
 people a nonstop source and opportunity for society to criticize objectively, rather than sided journalists.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
newspaper
Correct article usage
the newspaper
show examples
 industry creates
enourmous
Correct your spelling
enormous
amount
Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
show examples
 of
paper
Use synonyms
 waste
at the end
Linking Words
 of the day which has a negative environmental impact on
climate
Add an article
the climate
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 crisis.
Although
Linking Words
 there are sustainable improvements
such
Linking Words
 as biodegradable
paper
Use synonyms
 alternatives,
papermaking
Correct article usage
the papermaking
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 industry ought to
keep
Wrong verb form
be held
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 accountable, unless governments track their waste disposal.
In addition
Linking Words
, it could be a beneficial step to combat
paper
Use synonyms
 waste and curb the excess amount of
paper
Use synonyms
 production. In conclusion, I believe that getting informed via
Use synonyms
Add an article
the internet
show examples
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
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are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
getting
Verb problem
becoming
show examples
 more and more common and traditional
newspapers
Use synonyms
 will be
obselete
Correct your spelling
obsolete
 in the
following
Correct word choice
coming
show examples
 years.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I argued
upsides
Correct article usage
the upsides
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 and downsides of
printed-
Correct your spelling
printed news
show examples
news
Use synonyms
 and explained why I moderately disagree on
count
Change the verb form
counting
show examples
newspapers
Use synonyms
 as
main
Correct article usage
the main
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 sources of
new
Correct your spelling
news
show examples
.
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task achievement
Provide a clear position and support it throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
Organize your ideas and arguments more effectively.
task achievement
Include more specific examples and evidence to support your points.
grammatical range accuracy
Be more consistent with your verb tenses.
grammatical range accuracy
Use appropriate punctuation and capitalize proper nouns.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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