Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

On the one hand, some people believe in destiny. They think that whatever happens in
life
is God's will and you should accept it.
This
point of view
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
belongs to older generations who are more religious. The other reason for
this
opinion
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
is the poverty and a lack of
infrastructures
Fix the agreement mistake
infrastructure
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and facilities.
For instance
, people who were born in poor countries, like Africa, believe that there is no way to
change
the way they live and must accept their destiny.
On the other hand
, some other people believe that overcoming unpleasant situations is part of what makes us human and we have become civilized because of
this
characteristic. In fact, we have to put lots of
efforts
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effort
show examples
into gaining what we want and try to
change
an unhappy condition. In my point of
view
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,view
show examples
if you don't
change
an unpleasant situation, there is no difference between you and a tree! I believe that when you are not satisfied with your
life
, it leads to depression and anxiety. In
this
case, not only does it affect your mental health, but
also
it causes some physical problems in your future
life
. In conclusion, what distinguishes us from other creatures is our power to
change
. We only live once, so we have to do our best to overcome obstacles and create a better
life
.
Submitted by parvane_ava on

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task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points.
coherence cohesion
Try to use a wider range of linking words and phrases to improve the coherence of your essay.
grammatical range accuracy
Watch out for grammar errors, such as subject-verb agreement and sentence structure.
lexical resource
Expand your vocabulary to have a broader range of word choices.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • adversity
  • resilience
  • stoicism
  • contentment
  • cope
  • adapt
  • endure
  • persevere
  • settle
  • ambition
  • tenacious
  • determined
  • resourceful
  • optimistic
  • self-improvement
  • proactive
  • initiative
  • transform
  • overcome
  • confront
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