IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

In the future, people may no longer be able to pay for things in shops using cash. all payments may have to be made by card or using phones. do you think this will happen one day? why do you think some people might not be happy to give up using cash?

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In
this
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 fast-paced world, the way
people
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 make financial
transactions
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 has changed a lot. It has been said that
people
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 will not be able to
use
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cash
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 for payments in stores in future because all
transactions
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 may have to be made by using smartphones or Bank cards. In
this
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 essay, I will examine possible advantages of electronic payment systems that can potentially eliminate the
use
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 of
cash
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as well as
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 advocate some reasons why some
people
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 would still prefer to
use
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cash
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.
To begin
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 with, innovative technology like artificial intelligence (AI), and nano-technology have made
banking
Correct article usage
the banking
show examples
 system a lot more easy and convenient for
people
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.
For instance
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, anyone can now pay to shop or buy products online easily with mobile banking, internet banking, or
machine readable
Add a hyphen
machine-readable
show examples
 cards, allowing them to make any
transactions
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 with just a fingertip.
Moreover
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, if
people
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 do not have to carry
cash
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 with them, they would not have to worry about the risk of hijacking or theft meaning that
people
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's money is always secure.
However
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, despite the fact that electronic modes of transaction are convenient and a smart way of making payments, some
people
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 would still prefer to
use
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cash
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 in order to avoid
complexity
Add an article
the complexity
show examples
 of using cards and software. There are many
people
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 in our society, especially elderly
people
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 who are not familiar with smartphones and
latest
Correct article usage
the latest
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 banking tools.
Furthermore
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, some
people
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 feel comfortable using
cash
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while
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 shopping. To summarise, technological advancements have made the payment system a lot more convenient for
people
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.
While
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 I acknowledge that the popularity of electronic means of payment can dramatically reduce the
use
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 of
cash
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,
however
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, some
people
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 would still prefer
cash
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 for making
transactions
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 for its simplicity and familiarity to
people
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.

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task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points.
coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear logical structure throughout the essay.
task achievement
Consider expanding on the reasons why some people would still prefer to use cash.
grammatical range accuracy
Use a variety of sentence structures to showcase grammatical range.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • digital payments
  • convenient
  • efficiency
  • reduce crime
  • tangibility
  • privacy
  • limited access to technology
  • job losses
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