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Band 5

It is better to buy just a few expensive clothes, rather than lots of cheaper clothes Do you agree or dis agree?

#clothes #lots #dis
Although
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 many people believe that buying
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
 expensive
clothes
 is better, I think in a reverse manner spending less on the least expensive
will
Correct pronoun usage
ones will
show examples
 be a great deal . I strongly disagree with the statement. My inclination is justified in the following paragraphs. Out of all the arguments,
strongest
Correct article usage
the strongest
show examples
 one to prove my point is that fashion plays
an
Change the article
a
show examples
 crucial role in
todays
Change noun form
today's
show examples
 younger generation's
life
.
According to
 them, expensive
clothes
 represent the
quality
 of
life
. A good example is spending 900 dollar on
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
a canada goose jacket
canada goose jackets
show examples
canada
Change the capitalization
Canada
show examples
 goose jackets or getting
an
Change the article
a
show examples
 130$ regular brand jacket both
serves
Change the verb form
serve
show examples
 the exact same purpose.
Besides
this
this
 is
also
 true that expensive
clothes
 have slightly better
quality
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
show examples
rather
Rephrase
apply
show examples
then
Replace the word
than
show examples
 cheap
clothes
,
However
, we don't wear a single clothing for
whole
Correct pronoun usage
our whole
show examples
life
. We use a piece of clothing for
an
Change the article
a
show examples
 year
and
Correct word choice
or
show examples
 two. By
this
Add a comma
,this
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 mean that, If we get multiple pairs in the same value, we have a
Correct your spelling
lot
show examples
a-lot
Correct your spelling
a lot
show examples
 of variety to wear The other reason to prove my point is getting one piece of clothing in
hundred
Fix the agreement mistake
hundreds
show examples
 of dollars or getting a cheaper piece of clothing will not break the wallet.
Although
Correct word choice
However
show examples
, in both
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
cases we have a layer of clothing on the body. Because, most of the expensive
clothes
 price their stuff by the brand value, but their product is imported from a small country.
in addition
, the fact that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 some cheap and expensive
clothes
 are manufactured by
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 companies in same premises.
On the contrary
, some people
counter claim
Correct your spelling
counterclaim
show examples
 the mentioned support. The foremost argument they
do
Verb problem
make
show examples
 is expensive
clothes
 will get you better
quality
 and
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 will
last
 your whole
life
.
Also
, they claim
this
 is
aa
Correct your spelling
a
show examples
one time
Add a hyphen
one-time
show examples
 investment.
Which
Correct pronoun usage
This
show examples
 is true in some cases
Thus
, to wrap up the discussion, it can be said that despite expensive
clothes
give
Wrong verb form
giving
show examples
 you
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
better
quality
 and
last
 longer, my reason that we do not wear a single clothing item for
whole
Correct pronoun usage
our whole
show examples
life
 and can
also
 get more
clothes
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
same
Change the article
the same
show examples
 price
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
also
 logically accepted
Submitted by kaursimran9398 on

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task achievement
Consider elaborating on the counterarguments to strengthen your essay.
grammatical range accuracy
Ensure consistent use of verb tense throughout the essay.
lexical resource
Use more varied vocabulary and expressions to enhance your essay.
coherence cohesion
Try to organize your essay more coherently by using clear topic sentences for each paragraph.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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