In the modern world, it is possible to shop, work and communicate with people via the Internet and live without ant face-to- face contact with others. Is this a positive or negative development in your opinion?

According to

Linking Words

the prompt, in the twentieth century

with

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, with

show examples

the advancement in technology, people can perform their daily activities

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such

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, such

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as shopping

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apply

show examples

and working in a multinational company

via

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, via

show examples

the Internet without any face-to-face human contact. In my opinion,

this

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is mostly a positive development for two reasons.

However

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, there is one drawback that will be discussed. First of all,

utilizing

Use the right word

utilising

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online resources for performing regular activities is a good sign because people can easily manage things

from

Change preposition

apply

show examples

online

which

Punctuation problem

, which

show examples

give

Correct subject-verb agreement

gives

show examples

them extra time to spend with their family and friends.

For example

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, in today's world, individuals living in Bangladesh can work in the Amazon without being physically present there

which

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, which

show examples

reduces the extra travelling time, which can be

utilized

Use the right word

utilised

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by staying with their family.

In addition

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, with the help of online social platforms

e.g.

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, e.g.

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, Facebook and WhatsApp, African youth can easily communicate with their friends living in North America in a matter of

Correct article usage

apply

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second

Fix the agreement mistake

seconds

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This

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is clearly a positive trend because

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, as

show examples

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

Fix the agreement mistake

humans

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human

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human,

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it makes us socialise and create an invaluable bond with our loved ones.

Secondly

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, performing daily tasks through the Internet is advantageous because

from

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, from

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a company's managerial sense, they have to spend less money on building infrastructures, which is economical, and these extra savings can be diverted to various welfare schemes that will help kids from marginalised groups. Notwithstanding,

this

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online sensation that takes every aspect of our lives has one disadvantage

Punctuation problem

show examples

people tend to get lost in the virtual world.

For instance

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, nowadays young

community

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people

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in Mozambique tend to avoid their traditional fire gathering party

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Punctuation problem

; instead

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instead

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instead,

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they spend the holiday playing video games.

Consequently

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this

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isolation from the real world is the root cause of severe mental health problems, e.g., depression, insecurity, and inferiority

complexity

Replace the word

complex

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, which is a common phenomenon observed in recent years. In conclusion, getting our job done without any in-person contact is primarily a positive thing for the two reasons outlined above.

Nevertheless

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, it is not a perfect change

and

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, and

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mental health problem is a pressing issue that we need to deal with.

swakshar.sd

Oct 3, 2023

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coherence

The essay has a clear opinion, but the flow of ideas is not always smooth. Use clearer topic sentences and linking words to connect ideas from one paragraph to the next.

task response

Give a well-balanced view by showing both sides with reasons and explain how each point supports your overall view. Use more direct and precise examples tied to the prompt.

content

The writer states a clear opinion at the start of the essay.

content

There are some concrete examples from different regions to support points.

structure

A concluding sentence restates the main idea.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
24
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

343 words

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In the modern world, it is possible to shop, work and communicate with people via the Internet and live without ant face-to- face contact with others. Is this a positive or negative development in your opinion?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on society. Others, however, deny that these factors have any significant influence on people’s behaviour. What is your opinion on that issue?

Many things that used to be done in the home by hands are now being done by machines does this develoment has more advantages or disadvantaged.

International tourism has brought enormous benefit to many places. At the same time, there is concern about its impact on local inhabitants and the environment. Do the disadvantages of international tourism outweigh the advantages?

Many children these days have an unhealthy lifestyle. Both schools and parents are responsible for solving this problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the international music that is heard everywhere nowadays?