IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The best way to solve the traffic and transportation problem is to encourage people to live in cities rather than suburbs or countryside. Do you agree or disagree?

#traffic #transportation #people #cities #suburbs #countryside
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With the fast development of civilization,
people
Use synonyms
 spend a lot of time
in
Change preposition
apply
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commuting when they live in
suburbs
Correct article usage
the suburbs
show examples
while
Linking Words
 their workplaces are in
cities
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. Living in
cities
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 is of course a good
way
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 to release the
traffic
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pressure
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as well as
Linking Words
 to save time, but it is more harm than good. I have considered
this
Linking Words
 topic carefully, and
eventually
Add a comma
,eventually
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 I think living
in
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apply
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downtown is not the best
way
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 to face the complicated situation. For
people
Use synonyms
 who live in
suburbs
Correct article usage
the suburbs
show examples
 or
countryside
Correct article usage
the countryside
show examples
, saving money is
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their first consideration. It means they can probably endure the long and dull
traffic
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 jams. The
transportation
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problem
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 can be acceptable.
Otherwise
Linking Words
, the cost of living near their workplaces
is outweigh
Wrong verb form
outweighs
show examples
 the
transportation
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problem
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.
Therefore
Linking Words
, living in
cities
Use synonyms
 may not really attract them. For
cities
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, the
Use synonyms
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
 capacity is hard to enlarge. If too many
people
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 rush to
cities
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 just for the convenience
to work
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of working
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 or
entertain
Replace the word
entertainment
show examples
, it would lead to other inconveniences as well, like queuing, overusing public
facilities
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, food
shortage
Fix the agreement mistake
shortages
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, the
pressure
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 of city cleaning and so on.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I think the
better
Correct word choice
best
show examples
way
Use synonyms
 to solve
Use synonyms
traffic
Correct article usage
the traffic
show examples
problem
Use synonyms
 is to transfer some companies, shopping malls and public
facilities
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 to
countryside
Add an article
the countryside
show examples
. When
people
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 in
suburb
Fix the agreement mistake
suburbs
show examples
 can easily get access to their workplaces, shopping sites and public
facilities
Use synonyms
, their need to experience
traffic
Use synonyms
 jams is largely decreased,
as well as
Linking Words
 the
transportation
Use synonyms
pressure
Use synonyms
.
As
Change preposition
In
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
conclusion,
to encourage
Change the verb form
encouraging
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 to live in
cities
Use synonyms
 is a
way
Use synonyms
 to solve the
traffic
Use synonyms
problem
Use synonyms
 but it has its own disadvantages. Moving some companies, shopping malls and public
facilities
Use synonyms
 to
countryside
Add an article
the countryside
show examples
 can largely release the
pressure
Use synonyms
 of
transportation
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by asllchkied on

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task achievement
Provide a clearer thesis statement at the beginning of the essay to clearly state your position.
task achievement
Add specific examples to support your points and make your arguments more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear and logical progression of ideas throughout the essay.
lexical resource
Use more varied and precise vocabulary to enhance your essay.
grammatical range accuracy
Check grammar and sentence structure for more accuracy.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • urban sprawl
  • public transport infrastructure
  • commutes
  • residential density
  • ecological footprint
  • overcrowding
  • urban planning
  • car-sharing
  • traffic management
  • rural preservation
  • transportation policies
  • electric vehicles
  • sustainable living
  • incentivize
  • telecommuting
What to do next:
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