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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

n some areas of the US, a curfew is imposed, in which teenagers are not allowed to be out of doors after a particular time at night unless they are accompanied by an adult. What is your opinion about this?

#n #areas #curfew #teenagers #doors #time #night #adult
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The US has declared a curfew in certain areas, especially for adolescents.
Therefore
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 they won't be able to go out without a guardian after a particular time of night.
This
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 decision is quite suitable in my view as criminals and illegal attempts are increasing.
Firstly
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, in the US crimes
such
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 as murders, and child abuse
are highly
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
 increased than past. Some areas are extremely dangerous and annual records of missing teenagers have
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
increased by 11% in 2020. Most teenagers are engaging in activities
such
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 as alcohol intake, starting sexual activities at a young age etc. Even though adults always
advice
Replace the word
advise
show examples
 them,
due to
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 the normal hormonal changes during the adolescent period it is difficult to control them. Not only that childhood addiction to liquor and
cigarette
Fix the agreement mistake
cigarettes
show examples
is
Verb problem
apply
show examples
a highly pathetic situation but
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also
Rephrase
apply
show examples
unexpected pregnancies at a small age and the risk of getting sexually transmitted diseases are other major problems that can occur
due to
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 the unaware behaviours of children.
Secondly
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, even if it should be ceased by authorities it is not easy to do so. Governments have to protect them by cork or by kook. Unless it will be a plot in the near future all over the country. Even though it is too expensive to
settele
Correct your spelling
settle
 payments for security field, the US government declared a curfew on behalf of
teenagers
Change noun form
teenagers'
teenager's
show examples
 safety.
To sum up
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, as the
criminals
Correct quantifier usage
number of criminals
show examples
 and illegal things
increasing
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
 the US imposed a curfew on several criteria. I strongly believe it is a good decision to protect the future strength of the country.
Submitted by laksrijayashan on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • curfew
  • imposed
  • teenagers
  • out of doors
  • accompanied by
  • adult
  • safety
  • criminal activities
  • harmful situations
  • discipline
  • responsibility
  • family bonding
  • time-management skills
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