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Band 5

Some people around de world think that be owner of a house it is better that to rent a place for living

#people #world #owner #house #rent #place
It is believed for some
people
 around de world that
be
Wrong verb form
being
show examples
owner
Add an article
the owner
show examples
 of a
house
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is better
that
Correct word choice
than
show examples
to rent
Change the verb form
renting
show examples
 a
place
for living
Change preposition
to live
show examples
. The need
of resting
Change preposition
for rest
show examples
 can appear because of the need to have a
place
 where
living
Wrong verb form
live
show examples
 but the low income to buy a
house
.
This
situation
 is negative for
people
 in
term
Fix the agreement mistake
terms
show examples
 of saving money and life satisfaction. For some
people
, renting is a good alternative
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 housing
instead
 of
buy
Change the verb form
buying
show examples
 a
house
. One of the things that can characterize those
people
 is the
called
Verb problem
apply
show examples
“free soul” where some do not
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
have the need
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
some strong responsibilities
such
 as kids, where they just spend part of the time in a specific
place
 because
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
use
Replace the word
used
show examples
 to go or travel for different places.
This
situation
 is seen in a very small part of the
society
.
However
, most of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
 around the world is experimenting
other
Change preposition
with other
show examples
 aspects of
live
Replace the word
life
show examples
 which do not allow
to
Correct pronoun usage
them to
show examples
 have
an
Change the word
their
show examples
 own
house
, despite
they
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 want.
On the other hand
, we have
other aspect
Change the wording
another aspect
other aspects
show examples
 that
society
 is going through, which is the low income.
This
situation
 does not permit
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
some
people
reach
Fix the infinitive
to reach
show examples
 their dream of having their own
house
.
Instead
that
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
, they find themselves in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
need
of renting
Change preposition
to rent
show examples
 a
place
for living
Change preposition
to live
show examples
.
This
result
Fix the agreement mistake
results
show examples
 in spending more money that could be invested in their own will and
this
 money will never come back. Even though paying
a
Change preposition
for a
show examples
place
for living
Change preposition
to live
show examples
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
 to solve the first problem of housing,
this
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the end could result in low life satisfaction if
people
can no be able to
Verb problem
cannot
show examples
 buy their own
house
. As we can see,
this
situation
 brings positive
outcome
Fix the agreement mistake
outcomes
show examples
 for some
part
Fix the agreement mistake
parts
show examples
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
, but for
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
 could result in negative
issue
Fix the agreement mistake
issues
show examples
.
Submitted by adibaerfan2 on

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coherence cohesion
Revise the introduction to clearly state your position on the topic.
coherence cohesion
Include a clear thesis statement in your introduction.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points.
grammatical range accuracy
Review your use of grammar and sentence structure throughout the essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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