IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

All parents want best opportunities for their children. There are some people who think that schools should teach children skills but others think having a range of subjects is better for a children's future.

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School
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 is considered as
the
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apply
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one of the best places for
children
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 for their harmonious development. Some
parents
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 think that educational
institutions
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 must start teaching
children
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skills
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,
however
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, others opine that academic
institute
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institutes
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 should concentrate on
diverse
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a diverse
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range
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 of
subjects
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 for the development of
child
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children
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 in the long run. In my opinion,
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school
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schools
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 should allocate proper time
in
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to
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 integrating a
range
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 of
subjects
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 for
children
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.
Parents
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 are always looking for golden opportunities for their
children
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.
Parents
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 think that it is the responsibility of the
institutions
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 to teach characteristics and
skills
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 to their
children
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.
For instance
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, academic
institutions
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 not only teach about particular
subjects
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 but
also
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 focus on some
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children
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children's
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skills
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 as well
such
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 as honesty, time management
skills
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,
good
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and good
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communications
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communication
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skills
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 to the students. Contrarily, other
parents
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 have the opinion that academic
institutions
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 should only focus on integrating different
kind
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kinds
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 of
subjects
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 for a
child
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child's
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 development.
For instance
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, art, literature, mechanics, disability,
construction
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and construction
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 management
course
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courses
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are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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fall in the category of
diverse
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a diverse
the diverse
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range
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 of
subjects
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 which can help a child
to
Verb problem
apply
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grow more effectively and create better employment opportunities for
children
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.
Secondly
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,
parents
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also
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 share that
children
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’s
skills
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 can be taught by our grandparents as well. Grandparents are
also
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 a good source of teaching
skills
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 to their grandchildren. In conclusion, people think that
Use synonyms
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
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 should start giving classes on
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children
Change noun form
children's
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skills
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, but In my point of view,
Use synonyms
Add an article
the school
a school
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school
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schools
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 can integrate
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range
Add an article
a range
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 of
subjects
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 for
children
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 which can assist them to become
a
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apply
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responsible
member
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members
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 of
the
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apply
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society.

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task achievement
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coherence cohesion
Organize your essay with clear paragraphs and topic sentences.
lexical resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary and more varied sentence structures.
grammatical range accuracy
Review and fix the grammatical errors in your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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