New technologies have changed the way children spend their leisure time. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#technologies #children #leisure #time

The latest

technologies

have given

children

a new direction to spend their free

time

Although

this

can reduce their socialisation

skills

with friends and family members, I believe that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages because

this

trend helps to develop

children

's brains and improve learning

skills

. The main drawback of

this

trend is that it reduces their socialisation

skills

with their friends and family members.

This

is to say that

children

often occupy their

time

by accessing social media like Facebook and Instagram via high-speed internet; they communicate with them through video calls and messages rather than face-to-face communication;

therefore

, they decline their power to make cordial relationships with people at home and with neighbours in society.

For example

, UNICEF has found that

children

spend their valuable 4 hours every day on social media to text their friends and neighbours for communication purposes;

subsequently

, they are not able to mingle with others.

However

, I believe that parents can give their

children

some

time

limits for surfing the internet and using social media. The main benefit of using newer

technologies

in their leisure

time

is that it helps develop their brain.

This

is because

children

play video games and operate various software, which

requires

Correct subject-verb agreement

require

show examples

different mathematical equations to solve.

Therefore

this

process helps brain cell growth and increases memory power.

For example

children

who handle PCs frequently to play video games have the ability to solve more mathematical equations than kids who do not operate PCs.

Moreover

children

accelerate their learning

skills

by operating various websites to find

out

Change preposition

apply

show examples

information regarding their theory and practical subjects.

Therefore

, in my opinion,

children

get more benefits from the latest

technologies

when they are used in their free

time

;

thus

, the advantages outnumber the disadvantages. In conclusion, despite the drawback of decreasing their socialisation

skills

, I believe that

children

get more benefits from newer

technologies

in their leisure

time

because they develop their brains.

Submitted by Shrabani Banerjee on Tue Oct 03 2023

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task achievement

Consider providing a more balanced view by discussing potential disadvantages in more detail.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that the essay has a clear and consistent logical structure.

lexical resource

Use a wider range of vocabulary and expressions to enhance lexical resource.

grammatical range accuracy

Check for grammatical errors and sentence structure to improve grammatical range and accuracy.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

320 words

7.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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New technologies have changed the way children spend their leisure time. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Include an introduction and conclusion

For reducing the case of crimes, the only best way is to increase the punishment Do you agree or disagree?

In many professional sports, there is a increase in the number of athletes used banned substances to improve their proformance. what are the causes of the phenomenon and what are some of the possible solutions?

Space exploration costs tax payers an exorbitant amount of money each year. What are the advantages and disadvantages of spending money on space exploration

Global warming is one of the most serious issues that the world facing today. What are the causes of global warming and what measures can government and individuals take to tackle the issue.

Due to the development and rapid expansion of supermarket in some countries, many small, local businesses are unable to compete. Some people think that the closure of local business will bring about the death of local communities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?