New technologies have changed the way children spend their leisure time. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

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The latest
technologies
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have given
children
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a new direction to spend their free
time
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.
Although
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this
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can reduce their socialisation
skills
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with friends and family members, I believe that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages because
this
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trend helps to develop
children
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's brains and improve learning
skills
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. The main drawback of
this
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trend is that it reduces their socialisation
skills
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with their friends and family members.
This
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is to say that
children
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often occupy their
time
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by accessing social media like Facebook and Instagram via high-speed internet; they communicate with them through video calls and messages rather than face-to-face communication;
therefore
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, they decline their power to make cordial relationships with people at home and with neighbours in society.
For example
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, UNICEF has found that
children
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spend their valuable 4 hours every day on social media to text their friends and neighbours for communication purposes;
subsequently
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, they are not able to mingle with others.
However
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, I believe that parents can give their
children
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some
time
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limits for surfing the internet and using social media. The main benefit of using newer
technologies
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in their leisure
time
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is that it helps develop their brain.
This
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is because
children
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play video games and operate various software, which
requires
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require
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different mathematical equations to solve.
Therefore
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,
this
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process helps brain cell growth and increases memory power.
For example
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,
children
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who handle PCs frequently to play video games have the ability to solve more mathematical equations than kids who do not operate PCs.
Moreover
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,
children
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accelerate their learning
skills
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by operating various websites to find
out
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apply
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information regarding their theory and practical subjects.
Therefore
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, in my opinion,
children
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get more benefits from the latest
technologies
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when they are used in their free
time
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;
thus
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, the advantages outnumber the disadvantages. In conclusion, despite the drawback of decreasing their socialisation
skills
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, I believe that
children
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get more benefits from newer
technologies
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in their leisure
time
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because they develop their brains.
Submitted by Shrabani Banerjee on

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task achievement
Consider providing a more balanced view by discussing potential disadvantages in more detail.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that the essay has a clear and consistent logical structure.
lexical resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary and expressions to enhance lexical resource.
grammatical range accuracy
Check for grammatical errors and sentence structure to improve grammatical range and accuracy.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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