Some people think the news has no connection to people's lives, so then it is a waste of time to read the news in the newspaper and watch television news programs. To what extent do you agree or disagree

#people #news #connection #lives #waste #time #newspaper #television #programs

The information has no correlation with our everyday lives, and

this

also

destroys our valuable time when we read

this

news

in the newspaper and follow it on

television

news

programmes

. I strongly agree with

this

statement because it saves us

money

for

future

investments

and helps certain individuals improve their

socialisation

skills

. The primary reason behind

this

trend is that it saves us

money

for

future

investments

This

is to say that when people do not acquire knowledge from

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

everyday

Replace the word

every day

show examples

newspapers

television

news

programmes

, they do not prefer to buy them at higher prices;

therefore

, it helps them boost their economy for

future

investments

For example

, mature adults do not choose daily

newspapers

or TV

new

Correct your spelling

news

show examples

programmes

as their medium for the collection of

everyday's

Change noun form

everyday

show examples

news

, and

this

is the principal reason for their saving a huge sum of

money

for their

future

investments

. Another reason behind

this

trend is that it helps certain individuals improve their

socialisation

skills

This

is because when people do not waste their time in front of the

newspapers

television

news

programmes

to gather the

news

this

accelerates their capabilities to communicate face-to-face with their friends and family members in society;

therefore

, it develops their

socialisation

skills

For example

, the young generation does not have an interest in reading

newspapers

in their everyday lives, which makes them more interested in making friends with their neighbours in their society. In conclusion,

although

the

news

has no connection with our daily lives, it is

also

considered a waste of time to read it in the

newspapers

and watch it on

television

programmes

. I believe in

this

statement because it helps to save

money

and

also

improves

socialisation

skills

for individuals.

Submitted by Shrabani Banerjee on Tue Oct 03 2023

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task achievement

Provide more specific examples to support your points.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence.

grammatical range and accuracy

Work on using a variety of sentence structures.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

287 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think the news has no connection to people's lives, so then it is a waste of time to read the news in the newspaper and watch television news programs. To what extent do you agree or disagree

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

In many countries today insufficient respect is shown to older people. What do you think maybe the reasons for this? What problems it might cause in society?

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people say that the main environmental problem of a time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Other say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.