Some people say that competitive sports have advantages for people from different groups and countries, while others believe that competitive sports only create problems between people. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Many
people
argue,
that Remove the comma
apply
sports
that are competitive have advantages for the public from different countries and environments, while
some of them think that kinds of sports
only raise problems between each other. This
essay will discuss both these points of view, before coming to the conclusion that is
relatively valid.
On one hand, sports
are competitive games that show the winners and the losers. In fact, nobody likes to lose. Therefore
, it could be stressful for players who have lost a match and it can cause problems with the public at the moment because they are not accepting their fate of losing a game. For example
, in the tragedy of a football match in Kanjuruhan, Malang, some supporters started to raise a problem by getting down to the field and attacking their opponent and policies started to take action but the mistake that they made was spraying tear gas inside of the stadium and caused the public rushing to each other while
they cannot see anything. Hence
, many people
passed away. This
kind of physical game really pushes the players to win a match against the opponent, but still has a lot of benefits inside of it.
On the other hand
, by providing competitive sports
, clubs in each nation are pushed to have some improvement in their gameplay strategy. It also
makes people
start to have community or groups by joining a lot of matches,
and getting to know each other who have come from different countries. Remove the comma
apply
Furthermore
, it brings positivity to your body and mental health. For instance
, the existence of the SEA Games,
makes society more alive than usual because they have to interact with their teammates or their enemies.
In summary, Remove the comma
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although
there are some disadvantages of competitive play because of the public, there are kinds of competitions like the World Cup and the Sea Games that are interesting to watch for many people
. For
this
reason, I stand that competitive play gives many benefits for everyone.Submitted by twiggseducationbdg on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that the introduction clearly states the purpose of the essay and introduces the two opposing views.
task achievement
Provide more detailed examples to support your points and strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Include a conclusion that summarizes your main points and reiterates your opinion.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?