IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

The pie charts compare ways of accessing the news in Canada and Australia

The pie charts compare ways of accessing the news in Canada and Australia
#news #canada #australia
The given pie charts depict the different ways of getting
news
 in
two
Correct article usage
the two
show examples
 commonwealth countries.
Overall
, Most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Australian
Correct your spelling
Australians
show examples
 access
news
 from
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
,
while
 for
Canadian
Replace the word
Canadians
show examples
, television is the main
source
 of
news
.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
 the other hand, the amount of
news
 that people in both countries receive is from the unspecified
source
.
To begin
 with, the
proportion
 of Australian surfing
news
 from online
source
Fix the agreement mistake
sources
show examples
 is 52%. It dominated the other methods
such
 as TV (37%) and printed
news
 (7%). Only 2% of people in Australia
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
listen to radio
news
.
Meanwhile
Add a comma
,Meanwhile
show examples
 in Canada, the vast majority of the people watch television
news
. Surfing on the internet is the second
favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
show examples
 way of accessing
news
 for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Canadian
Fix the agreement mistake
Canadians
show examples
 with
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
proportion
 of 36%. Printing
news
 and radio take up 14% and 7% of the
proportion
 respectively. Both
Australia
Correct your spelling
Australian
show examples
 and
Canada
Replace the word
Canadian
show examples
 citizen’s least favorite way of accessing
news
 is from unspecified
source
Fix the agreement mistake
sources
show examples
. In Canada, the
proportion
 is 3%,
while
 in Australia, the number is only 2%.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
▼
Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
▼
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words news, source, proportion with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 4 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: