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More and more people are suffering from health problems caused by a modern life style which can not be treated with modern medicines. Some people think that a return to traditional medicine should be encouraged . To what extent do you agree?

#people #health #life #style #medicines #medicine
The modern
health
 issues causing deteriorating
health
 are consequences of
this
 technologically advanced modern era. Proponent advocates that modern medicines can not resolve
such
 disastrous
health
 issues.
Hence
, Proposing the idea of shifting to traditional
medicine
 is being highly entertained among them. In my opinion, traditional
medicine
 and treatment methods should be encouraged as modern
medicine
 is designed for resolving the symptoms only, not curing the disease or
illness
. Human species are getting
intelligent
Correct quantifier usage
more intelligent
show examples
 day by day as much as technology is advancing. Knowledge is as far as people's fingertips. Modern
medicine
's incapability of curing an
illness
 is
no
Correct determiner usage
a
show examples
brainer
Correct your spelling
no-brainer
show examples
, and ,
hence
,
urging
Wrong verb form
urges
show examples
 people's attention to shift towards age-old medicinal methods. In today's capitalistic world, people comprehend the
thin line
Add a hyphen
thin-line
show examples
 understanding of curing the traits of modern
illness
 and curing the
illness
 fully. Disastrous
health
 issues like Blood cholesterol, Constipation etc. used to be cured in previous days by traditional methods.
This
 is ostensible that modern
medicine
 is failing in every
aspects
Change to a singular noun
aspect
show examples
.
Government
Correct article usage
The government
show examples
 should be more human-centric rather than
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
capitalistic.
Healthcare
Add an article
The healthcare
show examples
 business is a
billion dollar
Add a hyphen
billion-dollar
show examples
 business which is exponentially increasing
till
Change preposition
apply
show examples
today, Since
permanent
Correct article usage
a permanent
show examples
 solution should be the goal
not
Add the comma(s)
,not
show examples
temporary
Add an article
a temporary
show examples
 solution,
hence
, traditional
medicine
 should be supported .
Although
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 traditional
medicine
 cost is high, as a suggestion, I opine that
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 should be strict
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 healthcare organisations who bring cheap
medicine
 to the market
for gaining
Change preposition
to gain
show examples
 profits.
A government
Remove the article
Government
show examples
 aid would be very much appreciated by the citizen to develop
cost effective
Add a hyphen
cost-effective
show examples
 proper
medicine
 to foster a healthy society. It is wise
to conclude
 that till today traditional
medicine
 is the genuine aid to cure any
illness
.
Hence
,
this
 method should be encouraged.
However
, modern
medicine
 should enhance their research and development process to produce not engineered
medicine
 but
health friendly
Add a hyphen
health-friendly
show examples
 one.
Submitted by nehakarmakar45 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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