More and more people are suffering from health problems caused by a modern life style which can not be treated with modern medicines. Some people think that a return to traditional medicine should be encouraged . To what extent do you agree?

#people #health #life #style #medicines #medicine

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The modern

health

issues causing deteriorating

health

are consequences of

this

technologically advanced modern era. Proponent advocates that modern medicines can not resolve

such

disastrous

health

issues.

Hence

, Proposing the idea of shifting to traditional

medicine

is being highly entertained among them. In my opinion, traditional

medicine

and treatment methods should be encouraged as modern

medicine

is designed for resolving the symptoms only, not curing the disease or

illness

. Human species are getting

intelligent

Correct quantifier usage

more intelligent

show examples

day by day as much as technology is advancing. Knowledge is as far as people's fingertips. Modern

medicine

's incapability of curing an

illness

Correct determiner usage

show examples

brainer

Correct your spelling

no-brainer

show examples

, and ,

hence

urging

Wrong verb form

urges

show examples

people's attention to shift towards age-old medicinal methods. In today's capitalistic world, people comprehend the

thin line

Add a hyphen

thin-line

show examples

understanding of curing the traits of modern

illness

and curing the

illness

fully. Disastrous

health

issues like Blood cholesterol, Constipation etc. used to be cured in previous days by traditional methods.

This

is ostensible that modern

medicine

is failing in every

aspects

Change to a singular noun

aspect

show examples

Government

Correct article usage

The government

show examples

should be more human-centric rather than

being

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

capitalistic.

Healthcare

Add an article

The healthcare

show examples

business is a

billion dollar

Add a hyphen

billion-dollar

show examples

business which is exponentially increasing

till

Change preposition

apply

show examples

today, Since

permanent

Correct article usage

a permanent

show examples

solution should be the goal

not

Add the comma(s)

,not

show examples

temporary

Add an article

a temporary

show examples

solution,

hence

, traditional

medicine

should be supported .

Although

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

traditional

medicine

cost is high, as a suggestion, I opine that

government

Correct article usage

the government

show examples

should be strict

Change preposition

with

show examples

healthcare organisations who bring cheap

medicine

to the market

for gaining

Change preposition

to gain

show examples

profits.

A government

Remove the article

Government

show examples

aid would be very much appreciated by the citizen to develop

cost effective

Add a hyphen

cost-effective

show examples

proper

medicine

to foster a healthy society. It is wise

to conclude

that till today traditional

medicine

is the genuine aid to cure any

illness

Hence

this

method should be encouraged.

However

, modern

medicine

should enhance their research and development process to produce not engineered

medicine

but

health friendly

Add a hyphen

health-friendly

show examples

one.

Submitted by nehakarmakar45 on Tue Oct 03 2023

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

296 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

holistic approach
herbal remedies
acupuncture
integrative healthcare
modern lifestyle diseases
prevention
patient outcomes
sustainable health solutions
underlying causes
scientifically validated
healthcare systems
complementary therapies
balance and well-being
stress management
dietary habits
acceptance
resonate with
comprehensive care options
formal healthcare systems
personal beliefs

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More and more people are suffering from health problems caused by a modern life style which can not be treated with modern medicines. Some people think that a return to traditional medicine should be encouraged . To what extent do you agree?

Fully explain your ideas

These days, more and more people move away from the area where they were born and brought up when they become adults. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

In some cities public parks and open spaces are being changed into gardens where local residents can grow their own fruit and vegetables. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. discuss both these views and give your own opinion

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?