The bar chart illustrates the percentage of how parents in a country spent time taking care their children in the evening in 2022. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

#bar #percentage #parents #country #time #care #children #summarise #information #features #comparisons

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The diagram gives a distribution of the period spent by

parents

Use synonyms

Change preposition

apply

show examples

caring for their wards at night in 2022.

Overall

Linking Words

it is immediately apparent that

Remove the comma

apply

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women give more

time

Use synonyms

activities

Use synonyms

involving their

children

Use synonyms

than men.

Also

Linking Words

, with

both

Use synonyms

parents

Use synonyms

coming together,

chances

Correct article usage

the chances

show examples

of them spending more

time

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Change preposition

apply

show examples

carrying out some

activities

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Change preposition

with

show examples

their

children

Use synonyms

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

higher.

To begin

Linking Words

with, when it comes to mothers they spend approximately 75% of their

time

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to dress up their kids whilst only a third of

this

Linking Words

figure at 25% is invested in the games their offspring play. Meanwhile, mothers apportion 50% of their

time

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getting involved in doing the homework of their kids.

Likewise

Linking Words

, spending 42% to prepare these

children

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for bed. With regards to

both

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parents

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, 50% of the couple's

time

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is used to put their

children

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to sleep.

By contrast

Linking Words

, only less than a half of

this

Linking Words

period at 20% is used to dress their

children

Use synonyms

However

Linking Words

both

Use synonyms

parents

Use synonyms

use 70% of their

time

Use synonyms

to partake in their wards playing games a figure which

surpases

Correct your spelling

surpasses

the

Use synonyms

time-frame

Correct your spelling

time frame

show examples

both

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parents

Use synonyms

involve themselves in

childrens'

Change noun form

children's

show examples

activities

Use synonyms

. Turning to fathers only, they give the least

time

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to their

childrens'

Change noun form

children's

show examples

activities

Use synonyms

. 10% of their

time

Use synonyms

is used to help with

kids

Change noun form

kids'

kid's

show examples

homework whilst

Remove the article

apply

show examples

half of

this

Linking Words

for

Add a missing verb

is for

show examples

playing games with their

children

Use synonyms

as well as

Linking Words

preparing them for bed. Very little

time

Use synonyms

, about 2%, is spent on putting clothes on their offspring.

Submitted by nmaureen03 on Tue Oct 03 2023

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words parents, time, activities, children, both with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "gives" was used 3 times.

▼

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

240 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

bar chart
Percentage
Parents
Spent time
Taking care
Children
Evening
2022
Summarise
Information
Main features
Comparisons
Relevant
Patterns
Trends
Highest
Lowest
Activities
Gender
Conclusion
Findings

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The bar chart illustrates the percentage of how parents in a country spent time taking care their children in the evening in 2022. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

Currently there is a trend towards the use of alternative forms of medicine. However, at best these methods are ineffective, and at worst they may be dangerous. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

Many people think that money is the best gift to give a teenager, but others disagree. Discuss both the views and give your opinion including relevant examples.

Some people think that the best wat to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentences. Others, however, believe there are better alternative wats or reducing crime. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

International tourism has brought enormous benefit to many places. At the same time, there is concern about its impact on local inhabitants and the enviroment. Do the disadvantages of International tourism outweight the advantages?