IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Traffic jams are a problem in many towns and cities today. Some people say that the solution is to build wider roads. Do you agree or disagree?

#traffic #jams #towns #cities #people #roads
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Nowadays, one of the most popular problems in big cities is overcrowded
roads
.
Due to
 that, some people believe that if the government makes
roads
 wider, it will decrease the number of jams. In my way of thinking, it is not
only
Correct article usage
the only
show examples
 possible solution
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
 issue and, in
this
 essay, I am going to prove my viewpoint with several arguments.
To begin
 with, it is necessary to understand that it is impossible to remove buildings which are close to the
roads
 in some towns.
For example
, it is utterly difficult to transfer
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 huge structure which contains a lot of shops and apartments. Because of that, if the government decide to relocate a few houses, it will produce a lot of different problems from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
finding
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
new living areas to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
investing a huge amount of money
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
.
On the other hand
,
cities’
Change noun form
cities
show examples
 administration can use other ways to reduce the number of cars
roads
Change preposition
on roads
show examples
.
For instance
, one of the most effective modern solutions is the underground railway system. If citizens have an opportunity to use cheap and fast trains, they will not need to utilize cars which are related to petrol expenditures. In conclusion, I would like to say that it is not necessary to spend much
investments
Fix the agreement mistake
investment
show examples
 on road reconstruction, if there exist other possible solutions which are cheaper and easier to be done.
Nevertheless
, if the driveway is
real
Replace the word
really
show examples
 to be reconstructed, it should be accepted as a preferable solution because of
many
Correct article usage
the many
show examples
 benefits
which
Correct word choice
that
show examples
 it has for drivers.
Submitted by me.melnichenko on

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task achievement
Provide a clear thesis statement that states your stance on the issue.
coherence cohesion
Organize your essay with clear paragraphs and topic sentences.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples and evidence to support your arguments.
lexical resource
Make sure your language is clear and concise for a formal essay.
grammatical range accuracy
Watch out for errors in grammar and sentence structure.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Traffic congestion
  • Alleviate
  • Commuter
  • Carpooling
  • Rush hour
  • Carbon footprint
  • Urban planning
  • Mixed-use neighborhoods
  • Cycling lanes
  • Pedestrian paths
  • Intelligent traffic systems
  • Congestion charges
  • Peak times
  • Telecommuting
  • Public transportation
  • Remote working policies
What to do next:
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