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Writing Samples
Band 6

The bar charts below show the number of hours each teacher spent teaching in different schools in four different countries in 2001. Write a report for a university, lecturer describing the information shown below. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar charts below show the number of hours each teacher spent teaching in different schools in four different countries in 2001. Write a report for a university, lecturer describing the information shown below. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#bar #show #hours #teacher #schools #four #countries #report #university #lecturer #information #summarise #features #comparisons
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The graph compares the
time
Use synonyms
 a teacher uses when teaching
students
Use synonyms
 at different institutions in 4 nations in 2001.
Overall
Linking Words
 it is immediately apparent that more
time
Use synonyms
 is allocated to
students
Use synonyms
 at the higher levels than those in the lower stages. The
USA
Use synonyms
 spent the most
time
Use synonyms
 on learners at all stages compared to the other countries.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, teachers spend more
time
Use synonyms
 teaching
students
Use synonyms
 at higher educational levels compared with their junior counterparts. The
USA
Use synonyms
 spends close to 1200
hours
Use synonyms
 teaching Upper Secondary whilst about 500
hours
Use synonyms
 less than
this
Linking Words
time
Use synonyms
 is utilised by Japanese tutors to educate learners at the same level. Interestingly, Spain spends as much
time
Use synonyms
 as Iceland
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
this
Linking Words
 same student category at 900
hours
Use synonyms
. With regards to primary schoolers, they are taught within the shortest possible
time
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. 600
hours
Use synonyms
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 allocated by
Japan
Replace the word
Japanese
show examples
 teachers to these pupils.
Likewise
Linking Words
 Spain and Iceland,
where
Rephrase
apply
show examples
just over 600
hours
Use synonyms
 and nearly 600
hours
Use synonyms
 are given to these learners. Meanwhile, the
USA
Use synonyms
 uses 150
hours
Use synonyms
 higher than the average
time
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 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
other countries for
tuition
Add an article
the tuition
show examples
 of primary school children. Turning to the lower secondary school
students
Use synonyms
, the
USA
Use synonyms
 spends 1000
hours
Use synonyms
 whilst both Japan
Iceland
Correct word choice
and Iceland
show examples
allocates
Correct subject-verb agreement
allocate
show examples
 just above half
this
Linking Words
time
Use synonyms
 to these
students
Use synonyms
. Spain
on the other hand
Linking Words
 spends 750
hours
Use synonyms
 on them.
Submitted by nmaureen03 on

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Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words time, students, usa, hours with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "compares" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • bar charts
  • number of hours
  • teaching
  • schools
  • countries
  • 2001
  • teachers
  • main features
  • comparisons
  • overview
  • average
  • year
  • difference
  • significant
  • range
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