Space travel to the Moon is often cited as one giant leap for mankind. Yet some people argue that this achievement made little difference to our daily lives. What is your opinion?

The evolution of humans has been manifested by our innovations and the will for
further
growth, and for years despite the need for survival and sustainability, inquisitiveness has played a paramount contribution to our lives,
thus
for years of accumulating and contributing to the pool of science and knowledge, human has achieved to reach a great leap and has reached the
moon
.
However
, people have polarized
such
achievements
and some pronounce these
achievements
to be trivial. I will argue that
this
. I will argue that
such
comments are irrelevant On the one hand, It is justifiable why
such
why some people advocate for the premise that the achievement of reaching the
moon
was futile.
Initially
, as our world itself has suffered from myriads of
issues
and impediments to growth concerning the availability of worldly
issues
,
thus
people wanted to prioritize the augmentation of
such
issues
, and
instead
of investing in
such
discoveries, the investments of the remedies for
such
problems are conspicuously more imperative.
This
can be seen in the lack of investments in unfortunate areas, various diseases and health
issues
from pollution and climate change, the degradation of global economics, and the excessive increase of prices caused by inflation. Given the aforementioned limitations, I am,
on the other hand
, convinced that the
achievements
of conquering the
moon
are indeed beneficial toward human daily life and an indication of a better future. It vividly indicates the endeavours of human growth and proves to the whole world our capabilities to discover and contribute to our daily lives. To specify, as we could recognize our ability to reach
further
toward the universe and potentially reach another place, and as the universe is full of uncertainties and many random factors
such
as asteroids could eradicate our civilization, the pursuit for another home is essential and
such
achievements
have established the hope for the future.
For example
, SpaceX, a company in the pursuit of reaching Mars, a red planet that they suspect its capabilities to nurture life, has planned and wanted to expand human territory to other planets. In conclusion,
while
there are justifications for reckoning that the leap toward the
moon
has little difference in our lives, the existence of nowadays
issues
in various aspects of society. I would contend that it is
also
imperative to pursue
further
discoveries to champion our future daily life.
Submitted by bendy.anhle on

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Task Response
You have presented a clear response to the prompt and addressed both sides of the argument. However, your thesis statement could be more concise and clearer. Try to avoid repetition in your introduction and ensure that your position is clearly stated.
Task Response
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea and that your points are consistently developed. Make sure your examples are directly relevant and effectively support your arguments. Providing a few more specific examples or data could strengthen your essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
The logical structure of the essay could be improved by making smoother transitions between ideas. Your points are generally well organized, but some transitions are abrupt. The use of cohesive devices can help link your ideas more effectively.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your conclusion appropriately summarizes your arguments, but ensure it reinforces your thesis and doesn't introduce new ideas. A well-crafted conclusion can leave a lasting impression on the reader.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame your arguments effectively.
Task Response
You have provided relevant points supporting both sides of the argument, showing a balanced approach to the topic.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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