Some people say that what children watch on TV influences their behaviour while others say the amount of time children they spend watching Tv influences their behavior. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #children #tv #influences #behaviour #amount #time #behavior

Nowadays, some people believe that the amount of

time

that

kids

spend watching

influences their behaviour,

while

others think that what they watch affects their treatment. In my viewpoint,

although

both

time

spent and what children watch influence their behaviour, I think the content of shows they watch

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

more important. I will explain my reasons in the following paragraphs. On the one hand, the more

kids

spend

time

watching

, the lazier they become. What I mean by

this

is that when children spend so much

time

watching their favourite shows, they spend less

time

doing their homework and

this

causes them to become addicted to watching

As a result

this

reduces their academic performance and they face a variety of different problems

at the end

of each semester. To some extent,

this

phenomenon influences their behaviour among others.

For instance

, my friend's cousin used to spend so much

time

watching

and not only it

reduced

Wrong verb form

reduce

show examples

her performance at school, but

also

she acted aggressively toward her friends.

On the other hand

, some shows contain inappropriate content

such

as violent scenes, which are believed to be the main reason for aggressive behaviours among some schoolchildren.

Last

but not least, some

kids

try to copy the behaviours of their role models which some of them are intense and they are not good patterns for the

kids

to follow. In conclusion, spending so much

time

watching

should be viewed as a negative development for

kids

and both the spending

time

and the contents of

shows should be controlled by parents and teachers at school.

Submitted by parvane_ava on Wed Oct 04 2023

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task response

Provide more specific examples and detailed explanations to support your points.

coherence and cohesion

Ensure that your ideas are organized in a clear and logical manner. Consider using more transition words to improve cohesion.

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

268 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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