50.Some people say that outdoor activities benefit children's development rather than computer games. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

It is argued that outdoor

activities

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provide more benefits to

children

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development

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than digital

games

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. Personally, I am inclined to agree with

this

Linking Words

notion. In the following essay, I will explain my justification in detail. First and foremost, outdoor

activities

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promote physical health and fitness.

Children

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engaging in outdoor

activities

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such

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as running, climbing, playing sports and biking, can develop stronger muscles and bones, better coordination and improved cardiovascular system.

Furthermore

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, regularly doing physical exercises can help combat childhood obesity and other related health problems that have become increasingly prevalent.

In addition

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, engaging in outdoor

activities

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encourages interactions and cooperation among participants.

This

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is because when

children

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play outdoors, they tend to interact with their peers, learning how to communicate, negotiate and resolve conflicts. These social skills are crucial for building healthy relationships and functioning effectively in a wider world.

Secondly

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, playing computerized

games

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poses several risks to

children

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development

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, both mental and physical.

Firstly

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, individuals who are addicted to video

games

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can sit on a chair and stare at a computer screen for hours. If

this

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situation continuously lasts for a long time, they may lack face-to-face interactions with others and even get autistic.

This

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is evident in a statistical report from a Vietnamese educational institution which reveals that nearly 80% of students get autistic

due to

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extensive exposure to digital

games

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Secondly

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, studies have shown that those young people who spend more time playing video

games

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may not have sufficient time for quality sleep, leading to sleep deprivation which trickles down to a poor health index. In conclusion, outdoor

activities

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provide a holistic approach to

children

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development

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, encompassing mental, physical and social well-being.

Although

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video

games

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can have their place as a form of entertainment, they should not replace the rich and diverse experiences that outdoor

activities

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offer for

children

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's growth and

development

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nguyenlyacbd

Oct 4, 2023

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Lexical Resource

Consider using more varied and sophisticated vocabulary.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

Ensure minor grammar errors are corrected.

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

305 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

benefit
development
physical
promote
foster
social skills
teamwork
cognitive skills
problem-solving
abilities
well-being
hinder
isolation
interpersonal skills
sedentary
exposure
negatively affect
academic performance

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Governments should ban dangerous sports. Others think that people should have the freedom to do any sport activity. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

The threat of nuclear weapons maintains world peace. Nuclear power provides cheap and clean energy. The benefits of nuclear technology for outweight the disadvantages. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

SOME PEOPLE THINK THAT IT IS good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. give me IELTS band 9 writings with easy words

Some people think that it would be better for large companies and industries to move to regional areas outside large urban centers. Do you think advantages outweigh the disadvantages?