Many foods are shipped from far away. Some people think that eating local food is more environmentally and economically. Do you think the advantages outweigh its disadvantages?

#foods #people #food

Food

is an essential part of an individual's life. The question of whether local

food

is more beneficial than packaged

food

has sparked a huge debate. I completely believe that

home grown

Correct your spelling

homegrown

show examples

food

is more healthy and cheaper when

comapared

Correct your spelling

compared

to packaged

food

This

essay will illustrate the pros of having local dishes.

Firstly

package

Wrong verb form

packaged

show examples

food

contains large quantities of preservatives. These are added by the industries to improve the shelf life of their products , but these are very harmful

for

Change the preposition

show examples

our

body

Fix the agreement mistake

bodies

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Additionally

, people who consume these items end up getting cancer and other

hamrful

Correct your spelling

harmful

diseases.

For instance

, I had a friend of mine who consumed packaged foods

such

buiscuits

Correct your spelling

biscuits

,chips,sweets etc. very frequently and after

few

Correct article usage

a few

show examples

months he was diagnosed with jaundice.

This

completely shattered his health and hampered his day-to-day activities.

After

this

incident

Add a comma

,incident

show examples

he decided to consume local

food

and avoid packaged

food

Secondly

, local foods are cheaper and are available in local shops quite easily.

Furthermore

, they are environmentally beneficial as they don't need to be

trsported

Correct your spelling

transported

long distances , which

inturn

Correct your spelling

in turn

show examples

saves fossil fuels.

For example

, there is a supermarket in my city namely,Reliance and it

sell's

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sells

show examples

exquisite fruits

that

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are

show examples

only grown in Mexico. The fruits are very expensive

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

since they are exported from a country which is

thousand

Change the article

a thousand

show examples

miles away from us.

This

proves how transportation can add up to the cost of the

food

and

this

make

Correct subject-verb agreement

makes

show examples

Correct your spelling

show examples

less affordable.

On the other hand

, local dishes are cheaper and easily available.

Furthermore

, it benefits the local farmers and improves their economic situation.

To conclude

, local

food

is a better option when compared to packaged

food

. On the one

hand

Add a comma

,hand

show examples

local

food

is healthy,

chemical

Correct your spelling

chemical-free

show examples

free

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

and cheaper

on the other hand

packaged foods are unhealthy and expensive. After a thorough analysis , we can conclude that human beings should consume local items to save

their

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

money and improve their health.

Submitted by shreyagr1209 on Wed Oct 04 2023

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task achievement

Provide more clear and comprehensive ideas on the advantages and disadvantages of eating local food.

lexical resource

Use a wider range of vocabulary and vary sentence structures to improve the lexical resource.

grammatical range accuracy

Ensure correct use of grammar and strive for more accuracy.

coherence cohesion

Organize the essay more effectively to enhance coherence and cohesion.

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

321 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

carbon emissions
transportation
environmentally friendly
economically beneficial
local farmers
local economy
fresher
nutritious
food security
imports
preserving
traditional farming practices
biodiversity
limited variety
availability
cost
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