IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

The only way to improve safety of our roads is to give much stricter punishments on driving offences. To what extent do you agree with this idea? Answer

#safety #roads #punishments #offences #idea
Regarding
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the number of traffic accidents up to date, Vietnam is one of the top countries having
high
Change the article
a high
the high
show examples
 number of traffic accidents.
Therefore
 in order to improve
safety
Add an article
the safety
show examples
 of our roads, I totally agree that we need to give much stricter punishments
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
 driving offences. It is good to protect
people
 and to give
people
 safe feelings when they
use
vihicles
Correct your spelling
vehicles
 or be transported by others. The more
people
 are afraid of having consequences for their own acts,
people
 may try to be
carefully
Change the word
careful
show examples
 in driving.
However
Add a comma
,However
show examples
this
 idea is not the only way. On one side of requesting
complying
Wrong verb form
compliance with
show examples
 the
rules
, the
governemnt
Correct your spelling
government
 can do more activities to get
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
 attention about
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their acts in driving via remiders, updating, educating via communications like newspaper,
tivi
Correct your spelling
TV
, radio... Our government should educate
people
 to understand how is important to follow the
rules
,
to
Correct word choice
and to
show examples
 protect
people
where
Correct word choice
whether
show examples
 they
use
 or
not
Add a missing verb
do not
show examples
use
 vehicles. In the past, we all know that a lot of
people
 did not take the
driver
Change noun form
driver's
show examples
 license seriously, but
simple
Change the word
simply
show examples
 passed the exams and used the vehicles without knowledge about the traffic
rules
. It was very
dangeous
Correct your spelling
dangerous
 to allow them
driving
Change the verb form
to drive
show examples
 without knowledge or
strictly
Change the word
strict
show examples
 training. Luckily in a
couple
Add the preposition
ofcouple
show examples
 years
recently
Rephrase
apply
show examples
, the government has checked and applied new
rules
which is
Verb problem
that make it
show examples
 more difficult to pass the exam. I think it is very
neccesary
Correct your spelling
necessary
 for
people
 who want to
use
 vehicles.
Submitted by yeshomeclass on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: