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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Modern children are suffering from the diseases that were once considered to only be meant for adults. Obesity is a major disease prevalent among children. What are its causes, and what solutions can be offered?

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Being obese was once only a condition that adults suffered from, but it is
becomming
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becoming
 more common in
children
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.
This
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 essay will first discuss how fast food and
sedentary
Correct article usage
a sedentary
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 lifestyle are the primary causes of
this
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 growing problem and
then
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 outline how education and increased exercise are the most viable solutions. One cause of
obesity
Use synonyms
 in
children
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 is the increasing popularity of fast-food restaurants. Fast food usually contains an exorbitant number of calories because it is very high in fat and sugar.
In addition
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, young people are living a more sedentary lifestyle. Nowadays, more
children
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 choose computer games or social media over physical activity, so they are unable to burn the extra calories they are eating. It can be commonly seen in many
western
Capitalize word
Western
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 nations,
for instance
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, that the number of
children
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 who participate in after-school sports has dropped significantly over the
last
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 decade. The best solution to
this
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 problem of
obesity
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 is to educate
children
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 about the dangers of being severely overweight. If
children
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 are more aware of the types of diseases associated with
obesity
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, they might think twice before asking their parents to take them to the local burger restaurant.
Moreover
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, schools should introduce more physical exercise into their curriculums. If
children
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 take part in sports, the physical activity will allow them to burn calories and avoid weight gain. Schools where
children
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 are required to participate in at least one team sport.
for example
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, typically have lower
obesity
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 rates. In conclusion, many
children
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 are struggling with their weight because of eating too much junk food combined with a sedentary lifestyle.
However
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, if
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
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 give
children
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 enough information about the risks they are taking by doing
this
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 and require
children
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 to
take
Verb problem
do
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 more exercise, the problem can be alleviated.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Obesity
  • Sedentary lifestyle
  • Prevalent
  • Genetic predisposition
  • Comfort eating
  • Screen time
  • Physical education
  • Nutritional education
  • Economic disparities
  • Food deserts
  • Subsidize
  • Advertising
  • Weight management
  • Junk food
  • Healthy food options
  • Physical activity
  • Body image
  • Counseling
  • Consumer education
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