Some people say that in the modern world, getting old is entirely bad. Others, however, say that life for the elderly nowadays is much better than it was in the past. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Opinion is largely divided when it comes to the problems of aging.
While
some believe that growing old is definitely negative, I side with those who contend that in comparison with previous generations
the quality of life for Add a comma
,generations
seniors
has improved considerably.
It is justifiable for some to argue that aging
is an entirely negative experience. They suppose that in their twilight years, the old have to encounter numerous challenges Change the spelling
ageing
such
as deteriorating health, diminished autonomy, and social isolation. For example
, many seniors
suffer from chronic illnesses such
as diabetes or Alzheimers
and require ongoing medical attention. Change noun form
Alzheimer's
In addition
, as people age, they may lose their ability to perform daily tasks independently and necessitate assistance from others. Furthermore
, Changes in working patterns have indeed led to young people leading increasingly hectic lives, which can result in their parents living alone and experiencing a sense of isolation and disconnection
Notwithstanding the aforementioned arguments, I posit that the lives of seniors
have enhanced significantly compared to the past. It is an undeniable fact that advancements in healthcare, technology and social support systems have enabled old people to lead better lives. For instance
, modern medicine has extended lifespans and improved their overall
well-being. Additionally
, the emergence of social networking platforms such
as Facebook or Twitter has facilitated communication between the elderly and their loved ones and provided access to information and services that help them entertain when living alone. Moreover
, the authorities in many parts of the world have established social support systems to provide financial and emotional assistance to the old
generations.
In conclusion, Fix the agreement mistake
older
although
aging
presents its own set of challenges, there are Change the spelling
ageing
also
numerous positive aspects to growing old in the modern world. It is crucial for society to continue working towards improving the quality of life for seniors
and addressing the challenges associated with aging
.Change the spelling
ageing
Submitted by ruozzo3095 on
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coherence cohesion
Consider organizing the essay into three paragraphs - one for the introduction, one for the discussion of the first view, and one for the discussion of the second view and your own opinion. This will help improve the overall structure of the essay.
task achievement
Include more specific examples to support your main points. This will make your arguments more convincing and provide a clearer understanding of your ideas.
lexcial resource
Consider using a wider range of vocabulary to enhance the lexical resource of your essay. This will make your writing more engaging and demonstrate a stronger command of English.
grammatical range accuracy
Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar to ensure clarity and accuracy. Proofread your essay carefully to avoid any errors.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.