Some people say that in the modern world, getting old is entirely bad. Others, however, say that life for the elderly nowadays is much better than it was in the past. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Opinion is largely divided when it comes to the problems of aging.
While
some believe that growing old is definitely negative, I side with those who contend that in comparison with previous
generations
Add a comma
,generations
show examples
the quality of life for
seniors
has improved considerably. It is justifiable for some to argue that
aging
Change the spelling
ageing
show examples
is an entirely negative experience. They suppose that in their twilight years, the old have to encounter numerous challenges
such
as deteriorating health, diminished autonomy, and social isolation.
For example
, many
seniors
suffer from chronic illnesses
such
as diabetes or
Alzheimers
Change noun form
Alzheimer's
show examples
and require ongoing medical attention.
In addition
, as people age, they may lose their ability to perform daily tasks independently and necessitate assistance from others.
Furthermore
, Changes in working patterns have indeed led to young people leading increasingly hectic lives, which can result in their parents living alone and experiencing a sense of isolation and disconnection Notwithstanding the aforementioned arguments, I posit that the lives of
seniors
have enhanced significantly compared to the past. It is an undeniable fact that advancements in healthcare, technology and social support systems have enabled old people to lead better lives.
For instance
, modern medicine has extended lifespans and improved their
overall
well-being.
Additionally
, the emergence of social networking platforms
such
as Facebook or Twitter has facilitated communication between the elderly and their loved ones and provided access to information and services that help them entertain when living alone.
Moreover
, the authorities in many parts of the world have established social support systems to provide financial and emotional assistance to the
old
Fix the agreement mistake
older
show examples
generations. In conclusion,
although
aging
Change the spelling
ageing
show examples
presents its own set of challenges, there are
also
numerous positive aspects to growing old in the modern world. It is crucial for society to continue working towards improving the quality of life for
seniors
and addressing the challenges associated with
aging
Change the spelling
ageing
show examples
.
Submitted by ruozzo3095 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Consider organizing the essay into three paragraphs - one for the introduction, one for the discussion of the first view, and one for the discussion of the second view and your own opinion. This will help improve the overall structure of the essay.
task achievement
Include more specific examples to support your main points. This will make your arguments more convincing and provide a clearer understanding of your ideas.
lexcial resource
Consider using a wider range of vocabulary to enhance the lexical resource of your essay. This will make your writing more engaging and demonstrate a stronger command of English.
grammatical range accuracy
Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar to ensure clarity and accuracy. Proofread your essay carefully to avoid any errors.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • elderly
  • modern world
  • decline
  • physical
  • mental health
  • diseases
  • disabilities
  • social isolation
  • loneliness
  • access
  • healthcare
  • medications
  • lifelong learning
  • personal growth
  • social support
  • community engagement
  • positive aspects
  • negative aspects
What to do next:
Look at other essays: