IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people have to find work abroad .they have to leave theirs homes as well as friends. Do the advantages outweight the disadvantage.

#people #work #homes #friends #outweight
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Parents
Use synonyms
 who send their
children
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 to non-
government
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schools
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 should not pay income tax and the
government
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 should help their
children
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 in the education system. I totally agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement and my
further
Linking Words
 justification will come in
further
Linking Words
 paragraphs
along with
Linking Words
 some relative examples. To commence with, families who pay a high amount of
money
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 in public
school
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 should not pay any
taxes
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 there are several reasons behind
this
Linking Words
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, they already contribute to their country's economy because they pay a high amount of
money
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 for only
education
Correct article usage
the education
show examples
 system which is beneficial for all sectors.
For instance
Linking Words
, those
children
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 who study in a private
school
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 pay
a large amounts
Correct the article-noun agreement
large amounts
a large amount
show examples
 of
money
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 in
school
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 which directly goes to the administration and
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
 the country's growth.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the teachers who earn
money
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 for public
schools
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also
Linking Words
 pay
taxes
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 to direct the
government
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 which means the administration takes twice
taxes
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 from various sources which is not good for families.
Lastly
Linking Words
, all staff members of the
school
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 earn
money
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 from their
parents
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which
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
also
Linking Words
 pay
taxes
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 in other forms which means
parents
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 are not required to pay any
taxes
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 to the
government
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.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, as per the
government
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 policy, all citizens need to pay
taxes
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 to the administration because it is their choice whether their
children
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 study in a
government
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school
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 or a private
school
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.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the
government
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 already opened many
schools
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 in city areas and provides free education to all so no need to go to public
schools
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. To give an overview, public
school
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children
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's
parents
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not
Add a missing verb
do not
show examples
 need to pay
taxes
Use synonyms
 to the
government
Use synonyms
 because they already pay in advance.
However
Linking Words
, as per
government
Use synonyms
 rule, all citizens need to pay
taxes
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by er.lerulal on

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task achievement
Provide a clear thesis statement at the beginning of the introduction.
task achievement
Develop your ideas more fully and provide more specific examples to support your points.
coherence cohesion
Organize your ideas into paragraphs more effectively.
lexical resource
Expand your vocabulary and use more varied and precise language.
grammatical range accuracy
Work on improving your grammatical accuracy and range.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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