IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table below gives information about the underground railway systems in 6 countries.

The table below gives information about the underground railway systems in 6 countries.
The table illustrates the data
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the railway infrastructure ( Date opened, the number of
Use synonyms
kilometers
Change the spelling
kilometres
show examples
,
the
Correct word choice
and the
show examples
passengers
Correct quantifier usage
number of passengers
show examples
 each year) in different cities.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 Tokyo had the most individuals
while
Linking Words
 Kyoto and
Los
Use synonyms
Angeles
Use synonyms
 had the lowest.As for the size of the subway London stands out for being the largest and oldest,
whereas
Linking Words
Los
Use synonyms
Angeles
Use synonyms
 is the newest as
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
given
Add the auxiliary verb
is given
show examples
 in the chart. London opened first(1863)and expanded in size to reach almost twice the measurement amount in Paris, which opened in 1900 and is 199
Use synonyms
kilometers
Change the spelling
kilometres
show examples
 long.
However
Linking Words
, Paris now has increased in the
quantity
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of passengers compared to London(1191 million to 775
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 respectively).Tokyo obviously came in rank as the second oldest subway having been constructed in 1927 with 155
kilometers
Use synonyms
 of routes and it is used now by 1927 passengers yearly. The recent subways are Washington D.C (1976) Kyoto (1981) and
Los
Use synonyms
Angeles
Use synonyms
 (2001).Washington is considered to be the hugest of the 3 at 126
Use synonyms
kilometers
Change the spelling
kilometres
show examples
 and 144
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 commuters annually. Kyoto as
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
given
Add the auxiliary verb
is given
show examples
 in the table is definitely the smallest(11
Use synonyms
kilometers
Change the spelling
kilometres
show examples
) and serves relatively few commuters(45
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
).
Similarly
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
Los
Correct article usage
the Los
show examples
Angeles
Use synonyms
 subway is 18
Use synonyms
kilometers
Change the spelling
kilometres
show examples
 and only 50 million people ride it per year.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words kilometers, los, angeles with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: