Every serval years languages die out .Some people think that this is not important because life will be easier if there are fewer languages in the world .To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinon

As the
world
become
Change the verb form
becomes
show examples
more progressive and the population all over the
world
is increasing , the
languages
are going to disappear day by day.A large number of
people
think that
this
can be a good reason to live
conveniently
Correct quantifier usage
more conveniently
show examples
then
Replace the word
than
show examples
ever before .I absolutely agree with
this
statement . At first , there
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
a lot of
languages
which are
using
Wrong verb form
used
show examples
by numerous tribes in the
world
.Some of the
people
which
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
utilize
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
these
languages
are always face
Change the verb form
always face
show examples
to some
challanges
Correct your spelling
challenges
for example
, as these
languages
are not very common
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
worldwide ,there is no one or no
any
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
organization to support and establish
some
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
training
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
for teaching these
languages
,and
people
will definitely
could
Remove a modal verb
apply
show examples
not manage to teach their
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
show examples
appropriately, and gradually their ancestor
languages
stand at the edge of
extenction
Correct your spelling
extinction
.In
this
case
Add a comma
,case
show examples
it would be a good idea to learn some
languages
that
are use
Change the verb form
are used
show examples
in all
arround
Correct your spelling
around
the planet .
Secondly
, those
languages
that are
Replace the word
used
show examples
use
Wrong verb form
used
show examples
in some local regions by a low number of public ,
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
are not authentic from their structure and some grammatical points as they used traditionally before.
Therefor
Correct your spelling
Therefore
show examples
,nowadays in the
world
some of the
languages
which are very universal simultaneously ,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
are
powerfull
Correct your spelling
powerful
from their construction and can be learned in a
short
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
short time .
For instance
,
Correct article usage
the english
show examples
english
Change the capitalization
English
show examples
language
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
is very profitable and
also
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
has a large number
users
Change preposition
of users
show examples
in the
world
can be one of the best choices for
people
who their
Correct pronoun usage
whose
show examples
own
languages
are going to
be vanished
Change to the active voice
vanish
have vanished
show examples
can start to learn and can be the source of
encome
Correct your spelling
income
for them as well . In outcome ,
people
can not tolerate to live without a language .So ,
instead
of
carring
Correct your spelling
carrying
on the
languages
which are not good enough and
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
uses are very few in the
world
well
Rephrase
apply
show examples
, I think it is the best option for them to learn a valid language .In
this
way
Add a comma
,way
show examples
many
people
can live easily
Submitted by notkhan01 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Make sure to have a clear introduction and conclusion in your essay. Your essay would benefit from a more organized structure.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your ideas.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a consistent logical structure. Some of your sentences lack coherence and cohesion.
grammatical range accuracy
Work on improving your use of grammar and sentence construction.
lexical resource
Expand your vocabulary and use a wider range of words and phrases.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: