Students from disadvantaged families and rural areas are finding it difficult to get a university education. Some people believe that universities should help them. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#students #families #areas #university #education #people #universities

Children

from less prosperous

families

and villages

also

deserve equal opportunities for

education

like other

children

. Some individuals believe that higher

education

institutes should provide

support

to them and I totally agree with

this

statement,

however

Add a comma

,however

show examples

also

believe that

government

Correct article usage

the government

show examples

can

also

Rephrase

apply

show examples

contribute and

support

these bright students.

To begin

with, there are many young individuals who are doing extremely well in their

education

, and these

children

come from middle-class

families

and from interior locations.

Hence

support

them Universities can provide scholarships and free accommodation which will help them fulfil their dreams and achieve their goals.

For instance

, in the survey conducted by Oxford University in 2017, 40% of pupils who come from low-income

families

performed really well in their academics compared to

children

from well-established

families

Moreover

, even the government’s contribution will play a vital role in providing better

education

to these

children

. The government can provide free

education

on the basis of student’s academic merits and

also

provide other infrastructure facilities like free internet access, online libraries and the latest gadgets like computers, laptops, iPads or mobile phones where

children

who are living in villages and find it difficult to study in cities can have easy access to any type of course and study material via the internet.

To conclude

, I would say universities can provide

support

like concessions on course fees and accommodation

along with

that every country’s government can

also

help by providing the latest infrastructure to the students who are living in villages.

This

will help most of our bright pupils to study more and contribute to society.

Submitted by deepalivaz on Thu Oct 05 2023

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coherence cohesion

Consider adding a clearer thesis statement in the introduction to clearly state your position.

coherence cohesion

Use transitions to improve the flow and coherence of your essay.

task achievement

Provide more specific examples to support your points.

task achievement

Consider expanding on the government's role in supporting disadvantaged students.

grammatical range accuracy

Proofread your essay for grammar mistakes.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

265 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Students from disadvantaged families and rural areas are finding it difficult to get a university education. Some people believe that universities should help them. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In many countries, traditional foods are being replaced by fast foods. This has a negative impact on families, individuals and society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fresh water reserves are becoming less worldwide. What are the reasons for this? What are the solutions that can be done by countries and individuals?

Some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination, while other think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Today there is a great increase in antisocial personal behaviour such as committing a crime. What are the causes of this? Who should be responsible for this problem

Some people think that children should be taught to be competitive in school. Others, however, say that cooperation and team working skills are more important. Discuss both sides of this argument and then give your own opinion.