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Writing Samples
Band 7

The table below shows information about age, average income per person and population below poverty line in three states in USA. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The table below shows information about age, average income per person and population below poverty line in three states in USA. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
The provided table illustrates data about two groups of age, average income per
person
Use synonyms
 and
population
Use synonyms
 below the
poverty
Use synonyms
 line in
three
Use synonyms
 American states, namely
California
Use synonyms
, Utah and
Florida
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, Utah has the highest proportion of
people
Use synonyms
 aged under 18 and the lowest percentage of
people
Use synonyms
 aged over 60 in all
three
Use synonyms
 states.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the proportion of the
population
Use synonyms
 living under the
poverty
Use synonyms
 line in
California
Use synonyms
 is higher than in other regions even though it has the highest average income per
person
Use synonyms
.
People
Use synonyms
 aged under 18 account for over a quarter of Utal’s
population
Use synonyms
 which is higher than the figures of
California
Use synonyms
 and
Florida
Use synonyms
, at 17% and 16% respectively. The proportion of citizens aged over 60 in
Florida
Use synonyms
 is 23%, which is 10% more than
California
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 and almost
three
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 times more than Utal. The average revenue per
person
Use synonyms
 in
California
Use synonyms
 is 23000$, the highest among all
three
Use synonyms
 states.
People
Use synonyms
 living in
Florida
Use synonyms
 earn more than Utal, at 22000$ and 17000$ respectively.
Although
Linking Words
 residents living in
California
Use synonyms
 had the highest income per
person
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,
California
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 has the highest rate of the
population
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 living below the
poverty
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 line, which is 16%, nearly two times than the figures of Utal with the lowest rate of 9%.
Finally
Linking Words
, the
poverty
Use synonyms
 rate in
Florida
Use synonyms
 is 12%.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 85%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words person, population, poverty, three, california, florida, people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
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