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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below give information on the ages of the populations of Yemen and Italy in 2000 and projections for 2050. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. YEMEN 2000 2050 e at lea 3.6% 5.7% 46.3% 50.1% 57.3% 37.0% 2000 24.1% ITALY 2050 14.3% 11.5% 42.3% 61.6% 46.2% 0-14 years 15-59 years 60+ years

The charts below give information on the ages of the populations of Yemen and Italy in 2000 and projections for 2050. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. YEMEN 2000 2050 e at lea 3.6% 5.7% 46.3% 50.1% 57.3% 37.0% 2000 24.1% ITALY 2050 14.3% 11.5% 42.3% 61.6% 46.2% 0-14 years 15-59 years 60+ years
#information #ages #populations #yemen #projections #summarise #features #comparisons #e #lea #years
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The pie charts illustrate
on
Change preposition
apply
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the ages of the
population
Use synonyms
 different from past
years
Use synonyms
 to
projection
Correct article usage
the projection
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year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
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 of Yemen and Italy.
To begin
Linking Words
, in Yemen,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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half a number of
Correct article usage
the populations
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populations
Fix the agreement mistake
population
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are included
Wrong verb form
includes
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 children below 14
years
Use synonyms
 old and 15 to 59
years
Use synonyms
old
Correct word choice
apply
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residents
hold
Wrong verb form
held
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 a higher
population
Use synonyms
 in Italy in 2000.
Also
Linking Words
, over 60
years
Use synonyms
 old people are remembered lowest
population
Use synonyms
 of both countries in 2000.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the future predictions of both countries hold a significance between 15 and 59
years
Use synonyms
 old adults in 2050.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
population
Add an article
the population
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 of 15-
59
Correct your spelling
59-year-old
years
Use synonyms
 old residents will be increasing above 10% from 2000 to 2050 at approximately 46% to 57% in Yemen.
Thus
Linking Words
, the total number of children will be reduced by half percentage
in
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from
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 50.1% to 37%.
However
Linking Words
, in Italy, the survival rates of elders will be increased by nearly 20% and the adult
population
Use synonyms
 rate will be reduced by
at
Change preposition
apply
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almost 15% in
projection
Correct article usage
the projection
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 for 2050. Remarkably, the total
population
Use synonyms
 on the ages of below 14
years
Use synonyms
 will be
little
Add an article
a little
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 bit lower in future predictions than in the previous.
Submitted by krishmahendran19 on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words population, years with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reduced" was used 2 times.
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