Nowadays both men and women spend a lot of money on beauty care. This was not so in the past. What may be the root cause of this behavior? Discuss the reasons and possible results.

#men #women #money #beauty #care #was #root #behavior #results

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Although

there are many reasons for overspending on refinement products, the most prominent is to imitate the actors and actresses. To explicate, the advertisements of well-known brands leave their unforgettable image in the minds of individuals,that's why

instead

of using home

remidies

Correct your spelling

remedies

, they just follow their role models.

For instance

, the prominent company Olay promoted their product under eye brightening cream,

youngones

Correct your spelling

Young

trusted these commercials blindly, and for

this

Add a comma

,this

show examples

they made the purchase. Another reason is Job opportunities because aesthetic grace is appreciated by everyone ,especially in the position of cashier, travel agent etc.

Thus

, for the improvement in ,personality these products are used. The ramifications of these materials lead to the loss of natural charm, the commercialized products by themselves are rarely used by famous personalities;

however

,the youngsters opt for beauty surgeries

due to

being presented and supported by their example. But, these treatments actually hurt their skin and

consequently

become dull.

Moreover

in order to support these things ,they overspend the money which should be utilized for education, paying mortgages, and rent.

Therefore

, their hard work is becoming redundant as it's not only hurting their body

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

but

also

putting their future in hardship.

To conclude

, to appreciate and follow someone is fruitful,

nevertheless

firstly

the implications of these treatments or merchandise should be done before trying,

otherwise

it may permanently affect the skin.

Submitted by mdkaur84 on Thu Oct 05 2023

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Make sure to provide a clear thesis statement in your introduction.

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Expand on the possible results and discuss them in more detail.

task achievement

Use more specific and relevant examples to support your ideas.

grammatical range accuracy

Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar. Some sentences are unclear or grammatically incorrect.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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15
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

225 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

1. Proliferation
2. Adhere to
3. Celebrities and influencers
4. Discretionary spending
5. Self-esteem
6. Attractiveness
7. Technological advancements
8. High-quality products and services
9. Health consciousness
10. Holistic wellness

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Nowadays both men and women spend a lot of money on beauty care. This was not so in the past. What may be the root cause of this behavior? Discuss the reasons and possible results.

Fully explain your ideas

The government should control the internet to reduce cybercrime and ensure safety of users. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement

Your next door neighbour own a small dog that bark throughout day and night. Write a letter to your neighbour requesting that something be done about the dog. Your reason for writing. What you would like to happen. A nice respectful style.

Students should pay full cost for their own study because university education benefits individuals rather than society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

space exploration is too expensive and money should be spent on more important things. to what extend do you agree or disagree

Art classes, such as painting and drawing, are as Important to a child’ development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree?