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Band 5.5

Essay topics: In some countries, more and more adults are living with their parents after graduating from college , University or even after finding a job. Do the advantages of this outweigh disadvantages?

#topics #countries #adults #parents #college #university #job #outweigh
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In some nations, a growing number of individuals reside with their
parents
Use synonyms
 after graduating from college, or university, or even obtaining employment. From my point of view,
although
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 living with their
parents
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 is often more beneficial, they offer living with
parents
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 because lack of independence and can present some disadvantages. Nowadays, more adults are living with their
families
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 for many reasons
such
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 as economic benefits, emotional support and cultural preservation. From my point of view, I personally agree with that because
if
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
living with family can save money more than living alone. They are not concerned about the rental fee of apartments or housing. Some
people
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 live with their
parents
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because
Add the preposition
ofbecause
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 emotional support.
For instance
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, when I have problems with my co-workers. I will call back
to
Change preposition
apply
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my family and ask them for advice to solve problems.
Also
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, some
people
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 reside with their
parents
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due to
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 cultural preservation reasons.
For example
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, in my country
Add a comma
,
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most Thai
people
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 usually reside with big
families
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.
On the other hand
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, when they live with their
parents
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also
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 have a disadvantage. Many
people
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 live with
parents
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, they lack independence.
For example
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, if some
families
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 have sons and daughters
and
Correct word choice
apply
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then
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 the girls in big
families
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 usually annoy the boys when they make a loud noise.
In addition
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, some family
parents
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 may have stressful relationships with their kids. In conclusion, adults residing with their
parents
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 after graduating
also
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 have both advantages and disadvantages. Some
people
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 living with
parents
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 may offer economic benefits, but they
also
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 lack independence.
Submitted by alisa.chuaypalad on

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task achievement
Provide a clear thesis statement in the introduction to guide the reader.
task achievement
Expand on your ideas and provide more supporting details.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on one main idea and provide examples to support it.
coherence cohesion
Add a conclusion paragraph that summarizes your main points and provides a final thought.
lexical resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary and avoid repetitive phrases.
grammatical range accuracy
Pay attention to sentence structure, grammar, and punctuation to improve clarity.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • boomerang generation
  • financial security
  • mutual dependence
  • nurturing environment
  • multi-generational households
  • intergenerational bonding
  • cultural heritage
  • autonomy
  • interpersonal conflicts
  • social norms
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