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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In some cities and towns all over the world the high volume of traffic is a problem. What are the causes of this and what actions can be taken to solve this problem?

#cities #towns #world #volume #traffic #actions
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Nowadays, a lot of
traffic
 is causing difficulty in a few
cities
 and towns in the world.
This
 essay will examine the main problems of how
traffic
 is affecting
people
 in the
cities
 and towns and we will discuss the possible solutions to
this
 problem. The two main problems caused by
traffic
 are
rise
Correct article usage
the rise
show examples
 in private vehicles and pollution. One is that cars have become more affordable for the average consumer, and they are no longer luxury items,
consequently
,
people
 are using cars to go to their workplace.
For example
,
according to
 the statistics it takes approximately two to three hours for employees to reach their workspace in metropolis
cities
such
 as Bangalore, Mumbai and Delhi.
Furthermore
, in some
cities
, like Manila, the public transport facilities are poorly managed
therefore
people
 choose to drive their own vehicles. These two reasons for poor
traffic
 management in many places cause unmanageable
traffic
 jams.
However
, there are several things that the government could do to reduce the trouble.
Firstly
, the state should provide decent, safe and clean public transportation amenities,
then
Correct word choice
and then
show examples
 more
people
 would use public transport,
instead
 of personal cars.
Secondly
, the government should develop new industries and commercial areas on the outskirts of the city. It is hoped that some public will move to these areas and would reduce the density problem. In conclusion,
cities
 and towns all over the world are facing serious
traffic
 problems these days. It is mainly
due to
 population growth, density and poor public transportation facilities. But there are several things that the government could do to address the problem,
such
 as improving public transport
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and developing new areas.
Submitted by sreyakaruturi on

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introduction conclusion present
The introduction could be stronger by providing more background information or statistics on the extent of the traffic problem.
relevant specific examples
Provide more specific examples or data to support the main points made.
introduction conclusion present
Ensure that the conclusion summarizes the main points made in the essay.
lexical resource
Use more varied vocabulary throughout the essay.
grammatical range accuracy
Pay attention to sentence structure and avoid fragmented sentences.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • traffic congestion
  • urbanization
  • car ownership
  • public transportation
  • carpooling
  • cycling infrastructure
  • congestion pricing
  • population growth
  • commute
  • sustainable transport
  • traffic management
  • ride-sharing
What to do next:
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