IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane.

The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane.
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The diagram illustrates the process through which
sugar
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 is produced from
sugar
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 cane.
Overall
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the flow chart consists of seven stages with hand-made type and linear style, starting from growing carbohydrate canes to drying and cooling them. The first involves growing
sugar
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 cane in 12-18 months,where they are separated
to
Change preposition
into

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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 harvesting into two types of categories,namely by humans and by special machines.After that,
carbohydrate
Correct article usage
the carbohydrate

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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 cane is crushed using a machine to make juice. The next stage
,
Remove the comma
apply

The comma may be separating the subject and verb in your sentence. Consider removing it.

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starts with purifying the juice in an exceptional limestone filter,
then
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 next stage involves an evaporator to heat juice into syrup and a centrifuge can help to separate
sugar
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 crystals from the syrup.In the
last
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 stage,the process of producing
carbohydrate
Fix the agreement mistake
carbohydrates

It seems that carbohydrate may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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 is dried and cooled and ready for packaging.

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words sugar with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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