IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane.

The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane.
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The diagram illustrates the process through which
sugar
Use synonyms
 is produced from
sugar
Use synonyms
 cane.
Overall
Linking Words
, the flow chart consists of seven stages with hand-made type and linear style, starting from growing carbohydrate canes to drying and cooling them. The first involves growing
sugar
Use synonyms
 cane in 12-18 months,where they are separated
to
Change preposition
into
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 harvesting into two types of categories,namely by humans and by special machines.After that,
carbohydrate
Correct article usage
the carbohydrate
show examples
 cane is crushed using a machine to make juice. The next stage
,
Remove the comma
apply
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starts with purifying the juice in an exceptional limestone filter,
then
Linking Words
 next stage involves an evaporator to heat juice into syrup and a centrifuge can help to separate
sugar
Use synonyms
 crystals from the syrup.In the
last
Linking Words
 stage,the process of producing
carbohydrate
Fix the agreement mistake
carbohydrates
show examples
 is dried and cooled and ready for packaging.

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words sugar with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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