Write a 250-word essay for the topic: Some people think that advertisements aimed at children should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#topic #people #advertisements #children

some

poeple

Correct your spelling

people

argue that

kids

should not be used for advertisement

however

it affects them in several negative ways.

this

essay is going to discuss

about

Remove the preposition

apply

show examples

this

issue. In modern

time

Fix the agreement mistake

times

show examples

advertisements

play

Change the article

show examples

important role, which you can see

them

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

in your daily life in many forms - on TV,

youtube

Correct your spelling

YouTube

show examples

, social platforms, apps, radios, billboards, magazines, shopping malls and more. some companies

aimed

Wrong verb form

aim for

show examples

kids

for their commercial purposes

however

poeple

Correct your spelling

people

argue that it

affect

Change the verb form

affects

show examples

them from

negative

Correct article usage

a negative

show examples

sides

Fix the agreement mistake

side

show examples

for example

, some sugary breakfast cereals which are not healthy use

favorite

Change the spelling

favourite

show examples

cartoon characters in their

advertisements

. when children watch, it

influence

Change the verb form

influences

show examples

them and they think it is a good thing that we can buy.

moreover

, when

parents

say no it makes anger on them.

Change preposition

show examples

Correct article usage

a result

show examples

result

Add a comma

result,

show examples

they feel

disappoint

Change the form of the verb

disappointed

show examples

with their

parents

however

commercials

neevr

Correct your spelling

never

think about

result

Add an article

the result

a result

show examples

which

Correct word choice

that

show examples

they can make. even they know most of

time

Add an article

the time

show examples

some

parents

can not say "no" to

kids

and they

oblige

Wrong verb form

are obliged

show examples

to buy

such

things.

on the other hand

parents

should explain to

kids

that we can not buy anything we see in

advertisements

. they try to make you buy something. they always try to influence the way you think. even in

canada

Change the capitalization

Canada

show examples

, every year 1.1$ billion is spent

for

Change preposition

show examples

such

advertisements

. some

parents

argue

this

Change preposition

about this

show examples

issue but it has not

concluded

Add a missing verb

been concluded

show examples

yet. most

parents

can avoid

such

problems

with limit

Change preposition

by limiting

show examples

watching

youtube

Correct your spelling

YouTube

show examples

Correct your spelling

show examples

commercials

. at least children 3-6 should not watch anything without

approval

Add an article

the approval

show examples

of their

parents

. in

conclucion

Correct your spelling

conclusion

commercials

are

undeniable

Add an article

an undeniable

show examples

part of our

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

Change the capitalization

show examples

hope in the future companies will decrease

such

commercials

and make

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

carefully

Change the word

careful

show examples

for

Change preposition

about

show examples

kid's

benefits

Fix the agreement mistake

benefit

show examples

Submitted by arzu.shahbazova1 on Fri Oct 06 2023

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
38Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

274 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Write a 250-word essay for the topic: Some people think that advertisements aimed at children should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Nowadays, a lot of offices employ open-space designs instead of separate rooms for work. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this opinions?

Some people think that hosting an international sport event is good for the country, while some people think it is bad. Discuss both views and state your opinion.

Nowadays, we are producing more and more rubbish. Why do you think this is happening? What can governments do to help reduce the amount of rubbish produced

Some people believe that children should be given lessons on how to manage money in school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?