Write a 250-word essay for the topic: Some people think that advertisements aimed at children should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
some
poeple
Correct your spelling
people

If you don’t want poeple to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

argue that
kids
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

should not be used for advertisement
however
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

it affects them in several negative ways.
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

essay is going to discuss
about
Remove the preposition
apply

The preposition about seems unecessary after the verb discuss. Consider removing the preposition.

show examples
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

issue. In modern
time
Fix the agreement mistake
times

It seems that time may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
advertisements
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

play
a
Change the article
an

The article a may be incorrect. Consider changing it to agree with the beginning sound of the following word important.

show examples
important role, which you can see
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

show examples
in your daily life in many forms - on TV,
youtube
Correct your spelling
YouTube

The word youtube doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
, social platforms, apps, radios, billboards, magazines, shopping malls and more. some companies
aimed
Wrong verb form
aim for

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb aimed. Consider changing it.

show examples
kids
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

for their commercial purposes
however
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

poeple
Correct your spelling
people

If you don’t want poeple to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

argue that it
affect
Change the verb form
affects

The verb affect does not seem to agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

show examples
them from
negative
Correct article usage
a negative

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
sides
Fix the agreement mistake
side

It seems that sides may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
.
for example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, some sugary breakfast cereals which are not healthy use
favorite
Change the spelling
favourite

The spelling of favorite is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

show examples
cartoon characters in their
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Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. when children watch, it
influence
Change the verb form
influences

It appears that the subject pronoun it and the verb influence are not in agreement. Consider changing the verb.

show examples
them and they think it is a good thing that we can buy.
moreover
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, when
parents
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

say no it makes anger on them.
in
Change preposition
As

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
Correct article usage
a result
show examples
result
Add a comma
result,

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase in result. Consider adding a comma.

show examples
they feel
disappoint
Change the form of the verb
disappointed

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb disappoint. Consider changing it.

show examples
with their
parents
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
however
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
commercials
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

neevr
Correct your spelling
never

If you don’t want neevr to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

think about
result
Add an article
the result
a result

The noun phrase result seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

show examples
which
Correct word choice
that

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

show examples
they can make. even they know most of
time
Add an article
the time

The phrase most of time may require the use of the article the. Consider inserting the before the noun in your sentence.

show examples
some
parents
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

can not say "no" to
kids
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and they
oblige
Wrong verb form
are obliged

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb oblige. Consider changing it.

show examples
to buy
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

things.
on the other hand
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
parents
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

should explain to
kids
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

that we can not buy anything we see in
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Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. they try to make you buy something. they always try to influence the way you think. even in
canada
Change the capitalization
Canada

If you don’t want canada to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

show examples
, every year 1.1$ billion is spent
for
Change preposition
on

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

advertisements
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. some
parents
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

argue
Linking Words
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

this
Change preposition
about this

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
issue but it has not
concluded
Add a missing verb
been concluded

It seems that you are missing a verb. Consider adding it.

show examples
yet. most
parents
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

can avoid
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

problems
with limit
Change preposition
by limiting

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
watching
youtube
Correct your spelling
YouTube

The word youtube doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
or
tv
Correct your spelling
TV

The word tv doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
commercials
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. at least children 3-6 should not watch anything without
approval
Add an article
the approval

The noun phrase approval seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

show examples
of their
parents
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. in
conclucion
Correct your spelling
conclusion

If you don’t want conclucion to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

,
commercials
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

are
undeniable
Add an article
an undeniable

The noun phrase undeniable part seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

show examples
part of our
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives

It seems that life may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
.
i
Change the capitalization
I

The pronoun I should always be capitalized.

show examples
hope in the future companies will decrease
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

commercials
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and make
Correct pronoun usage
them

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

show examples
more
carefully
Change the word
careful

Carefully seems to be the wrong part of speech for this context.

show examples
for
Change preposition
about

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
kid's
benefits
Fix the agreement mistake
benefit

It seems that benefits may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
.

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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