Some people think that purpose of museums should be to attract and entertain young people. Others believe that the purpose of a museum is to educate, not entertain. Disuss both view and give opinion

#people #purpose #museums #museum #disuss

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Few

persons

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people

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believe that

musems

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museums

are

build

Wrong verb form

built

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to attract and to

entertaine

Correct your spelling

entertain

the

Correct article usage

apply

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youngsters.

Whereas

Linking Words

, few

thinks

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think

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that it was built to educate the young ones rather not entertain them and

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agree with that second opinion. At present ,

childrens

Correct your spelling

children

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are not so interested in visiting museums and

therefore

Linking Words

we need to make it more

fascinting

Correct your spelling

fascinating

This

Linking Words

is because of the

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apply

show examples

lessons that could be taught by our

history

Use synonyms

and

also

Linking Words

to remember the errors which we have

did

Verb problem

made

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in our past.

Therefore

Linking Words

,we the society ,teachers and education should impose our

history

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on students in a more interesting way.

For example

Linking Words

,we can make a movie about our independence and telecast

them

Correct pronoun usage

show examples

for our students.By doing so,we can show the hurdles and injuries faced by our ancestors.

As a result

Linking Words

,the students will get

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show examples

urge to see the evidence and remains of their

indepenence

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independence

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museum

Add an article

the museum

a museum

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Consequently

Linking Words

,they will be attracted and fascinated by our museums.

However

Linking Words

, rather than educating them we cannot make the

museum

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into an entertainment centre.

Eventhough

Correct your spelling

Even

Correct word choice

though it

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could captivate the young people, it could

also

Linking Words

destroy the whole concept of teaching

history

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For instance

Linking Words

, museums

were

Wrong verb form

are

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like a treasure, to those who seek knowledge

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show examples

history

Use synonyms

Moreover

Linking Words

, making it into an entertainment centre can nullify the dignity and pride of our

history

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Due to

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that,we should make it more appealing and engaging rather than entertaining. In my opinion ,teaching is the main objective of

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the

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museum

Use synonyms

To conclude

Linking Words

,we should not convert the

museum

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into an exhibition to buy things.I believe

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apply

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the main

purpouse

Correct your spelling

purpose

Use synonyms

museum

Add an article

the museum

show examples

is to teach.

Submitted by insighttribez on Fri Oct 06 2023

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
23
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

249 words

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Some people think that purpose of museums should be to attract and entertain young people. Others believe that the purpose of a museum is to educate, not entertain. Disuss both view and give opinion

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

It is becoming increasingly popular to have a year off between finishing school and going to university. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this.

Experts should beware of the consequences of a harmful lifestyle. Despite this warning, most people have already become addicted to the same types of activities. This essay will discuss several causes and suggest some solutions to tackle this problem

⁠The older generations tend to have very traditional ideas about how people should live, think and behave. However, some people believe that these ideas are not helpful in preparing younger generations for modern life. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

More and more people are becoming seriously overweight. Some people say that the price increase of fattening foods will solve this problem.