IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The charts illustrate the number of people affected by four types of noise pollution day and night in cities and rural areas in 2007. Summarize and make comparison where relevant.

The charts illustrate the number of people affected by four types of noise pollution day and night in cities and rural areas in 2007. Summarize and make comparison where relevant.
#people #four #noise #pollution #night #cities #areas #comparison
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The provided bar charts indicate data regarding the number of individuals affected by various types of
noise
Use synonyms
pollution
Use synonyms
day
Use synonyms
 and
night
Use synonyms
 in
cities
Use synonyms
 and rural
areas
Use synonyms
 in 2007.
Overall
Linking Words
, the majority of individuals affected by both
cities
Use synonyms
 and rural
areas
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
noise
Use synonyms
pollution
Use synonyms
day
Use synonyms
 and
night
Use synonyms
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
traffic
Use synonyms
 in 2007. The lowest of individuals affected by both
cities
Use synonyms
 and rural
areas
Use synonyms
 of
noise
Use synonyms
pollution
Use synonyms
day
Use synonyms
 and
night
Use synonyms
 was industry in 2007. It is apparent that, in the
cities
Use synonyms
 area, the highest number was occupied by
traffic
Use synonyms
 with just over 60 at
day
Use synonyms
 and just under 50 at
night
Use synonyms
 in 2007, followed by train, aircraft and industry.
Similary
Correct your spelling
Similarly
, in the rural
areas
Use synonyms
, the highest number was occupied by
traffic
Use synonyms
 just under 35
at
Change preposition
during
show examples
Use synonyms
day
Correct article usage
the day
show examples
 and just under 25 at
night
Use synonyms
 in 2007, followed by
train
Fix the agreement mistake
trains
show examples
, aircraft and nobody affected
Use synonyms
noise
Change preposition
by noise
show examples
pollution
Use synonyms
 by industry in rural
areas
Use synonyms
.
To conclude
Linking Words
, both
cities
Use synonyms
 and rural
areas
Use synonyms
affected
Add a missing verb
are affected
show examples
 the most
Use synonyms
noise
Change preposition
by noise
show examples
pollution
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
day
Use synonyms
 and
night
Use synonyms
 by
traffic
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
,
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
cities
Use synonyms
area
Correct your spelling
are
show examples
 affected
Use synonyms
noise
Change preposition
by noise
show examples
pollution
Use synonyms
 more than
rural
Change preposition
in rural
show examples
areas
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by alisa.chuaypalad on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 77%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words noise, pollution, day, night, cities, areas, traffic with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "just under" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • illustrate
  • number of people
  • affected by
  • types of noise pollution
  • cities
  • rural areas
  • comparison
  • relevant
  • daytime
  • nighttime
  • summarize
  • main findings
  • conclusion
What to do next:
Look at other essays: