IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The maps below show the Happy Valley Shopping Center in 1982 and 2012. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The maps below show the Happy Valley Shopping Center in 1982 and 2012. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#maps #show #valley #center #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The two maps illustrate how Happy Valley Shopping
centre
Capitalize word
Centre
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 developed over two different
time
Change to a plural noun
times
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 between 1982 to 2012
Overall
Linking Words
 ,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 there
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
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 a number of changes ,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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most notably the lake was demolished and
replaceced
Correct your spelling
replaced
 by furniture retail .
Addictionally
Correct your spelling
Additionally
 , the parking lot was added in the left corner of the map In the first picture , there was a lake which was surrounded by many trees and next to the entrance . Entering the entrance , the lobby
area
Use synonyms
 was between the
cofffee
Correct your spelling
coffee
 shop and
toilets
Correct article usage
the toilets
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 . In front of the lobby
area
Use synonyms
 , there was an entertainment
area
Use synonyms
 which was in the centre of the shopping centre . There was a shop food
store
Use synonyms
at
Change preposition
on
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 the North of the map .
While
Linking Words
 to the south there were 4 elevators to
2nd
Correct article usage
the 2nd
show examples
 floor , the
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
store
Use synonyms
 , electronic
store
Use synonyms
 , furniture
store
Use synonyms
 can be seen in the East In 2012 , the parking lot was destroyed
inn
Correct your spelling
in
show examples
 the left corner of the map . The furniture retail was constructed to replace the lake . Entering the entrance , the lobby
area
Use synonyms
 and coffee shop had been knocked down
while
Linking Words
 the entertainment
area
Use synonyms
 and toilet still existed . The food
store
Use synonyms
 in the north had been replaced by the sports
store
Use synonyms
 and electronics
store
Use synonyms
 . The
store
Use synonyms
area
Use synonyms
 in the West was divided into four sides , on the south side , there was the food
store
Use synonyms
 and theme restaurant .
Submitted by yeshomeclass on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words area, store with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "maps" was used 4 times.
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