IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

It can be difficult for small local shops to compete with large supermarkets and with on-line shops. How does this affect local communities? What could be done to improve this situation?

#shops #supermarkets #affect #communities #situation
Small local retailers are finding it hard to compete against big shop chains, which is causing negative effects on local
communities
.
This
 essay will discuss
consequences
Correct article usage
the consequences
show examples
as well as
 provide solutions regarding
this
 matter. After large
shops
as well as
 online
shops
 started to spread across countries offering larger selection of products for lower prices compared to small-scale
shops
, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people started to prefer them over local ones.
This
 change caused economic problems for many local business owners leaving them out of work.
Besides
 that, often local retailers have produced traditional items or foods that helped to preserve local culture. The problem with large supermarkets is that local culture is influenced by mass cultures losing its uniqueness in the worst scenario causing changes in local
communities
. To minimize
negative
Correct article usage
the negative
show examples
 effects that larger
shops
 are bringing to local
communities
, there are
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
 solutions.
Main
Correct article usage
The main
show examples
 one
being
Wrong verb form
is
show examples
, offering small businesses the possibility to sell their products in large
shops
 with the condition that they will get a big part of the sales.
This
 way, local entrepreneurs will be secured with income and local products will be sold to consumers for possibly lower prices. Another idea is to organize different public campaigns or social events to promote local farmers and designers to raise interest and awareness of the public about the whole matter. When these methods are combined, all the counterparts will get their profits
as well
as
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 the local community will maintain to preserve its local ingredients, handcrafts and traditions.
To conclude
, larger supermarkets are causing more economic difficulties for local businesses
as well as
 negatively affecting the cultural heritage of the local
communities
 that have their organic ingredients
as well as
 crafts. To limit these impacts, local events should be organized and bigger
shops
 should work
together with
 locals selling locally produced items and foods to secure the economic income of people in the area.
Submitted by katja.otavina on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • economies of scale
  • local employment opportunities
  • cultural diversity
  • community engagement
  • property prices
  • homogenization of the retail environment
  • social gathering points
  • unique and specialized products
  • local heritage preservation
  • online retailers
What to do next:
Look at other essays: