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Writing Samples /
Band 6

Write about the following topic. In some countries, online shopping is replacing shopping in stores. Do you think it is a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#topic #countries #stores #development
In recent times, with the help of technology individuals do their
work
 on the Internet without meeting any citizens. In my opinion,
this
 is a positive development rather than a negative and my justification will come in
further
 paragraphs
along with
 some relative examples. To commence with, with the help of the Internet
people
 can do multiple tasks and avoid contact with other
people
 which can save them lots of time, money as well and effort.
Additionally
, they become independent and do not rely on another
person
 in future.
For instance
, there are many types of
work
 in which individuals need help from other human beings like government
work
, daily life
work
, shopping and many more.
Moreover
, citizens can increase their
knowledge
 become experts in
this
 field and feel good in their lives. Meanwhile, they require time management and priority of tasks will be easily achieved with the help of their own
knowledge
.
Furthermore
, the public is more aware of any kind of fraud happening in their life
such
 as if
people
 rely on other individuals
then
 it increases crime rates.
However
, by doing some extra
work
 in their lives
people
 can easily avoid these types of hurdles.
On the other hand
,
people
 should not try any activities for which they do not have any guidance or proper
knowledge
such
 as only banking related
person
whom
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 everything about banking and a particular
person
 of shop owners knows the quality of the product and price
therefore
people
 do not require to do
this
 type of task themselves. Eventually, they become indolent and
work
 perform in their
work
. To give an overview, citizens should do their daily tasks, shopping and some business-related
work
 and many more independence without any
person
's help
whereas
 they need full
knowledge
 of the
work
 and guidance in the related field.
Submitted by er.lerulal on

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coherence cohesion
Improve the logical progression of ideas in your essay by organizing your thoughts and arguments more coherently.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to provide a clear thesis statement in your introduction and a summary of your main points in your conclusion.
task achievement
Include more specific examples and explanations to support your ideas.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • E-commerce
  • Brick-and-mortar stores
  • Consumer behavior
  • Retail therapy
  • Price comparison
  • User interface
  • Digital footprint
  • Carbon footprint
  • Local economy
  • Global marketplace
  • Sustainability
  • Impulsive buying
  • Cybersecurity
  • Innovative technology
  • Online transaction
  • Secure payment systems
  • Social commerce
  • Virtual shopping experience
  • Delivery logistics
  • Return policy
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