Due to so many young people dropping out of schools, the rate of unemploymentis increasing, and it affects our society in different ways. In your opinion, how can this situation be improved?
Many young
students
drop out of schools
, sometimes to earn to support their families and sometimes Fix the agreement mistake
school
due to
other reasons, and this
has a
severe Correct article usage
apply
consequence
Fix the agreement mistake
consequences
to
their future and society. Sometimes those Change preposition
for
students
are to be blamed, but oftentimes, the system is responsible for it. The state should revise the way it runs schools
and arranges
re-schooling facilities Correct subject-verb agreement
arrange
while
the school
authority
should provide some paid jobs to needy students
to mend this
situation.
To begin
with, many young pupils leaves
Correct subject-verb agreement
leave
schools
without completing their Fix the agreement mistake
school
education
mainly to earn a wage to support their families, and this
is more common in developing countries. According to
a recent report, more than 30% of students
leave schools
in South Asian countries due to
financial hindrance
. The government in Fix the agreement mistake
hindrances
such
a country should focus on developing the conditions of parents who have school
-going offspring. Education
should be free, and some subsidies should be provided to poor students
. Besides
, the government’s initiatives to create more jobs would also
improve this
situation. However
, the greatest step the government can take is arranging
re-schooling facilities for those disarrayed pupils with some incentives and job provisions.
Change the verb form
to arrange
Moreover
, the school
authority
should make education
more fun in school
to retain young students
. For instance
, some Japanese schools
use interactive and fun methods to teach young minds, and this
has increased students
’ school
attendance dramatically. Such
initiatives should be welcomed and more widely used. Besides
, the school
authority
can arrange some clerical jobs for needy students
to help them continue their studies.
To conclude
, education
is the most important pillar for the development of a nation and the state and school
authority
should help Fix the agreement mistake
authorities
students
stay in schools
and finish their academic years. Without Fix the agreement mistake
school
having
an educated nation, crime and unemployment would skyrocket to push society Unnecessary verb
apply
to
complete chaos.Change preposition
into
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task achievement
Provide a clear introduction that states your opinion on how to improve the situation.
task achievement
Develop your main points with more supporting details and examples.
coherence cohesion
Organize your essay with clear logical structure. Use paragraphs to separate ideas.
coherence cohesion
Include a conclusion that summarizes your main points and restates your opinion.
lexical resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary to demonstrate lexical resource.
grammatical range accuracy
Revise sentence structures to avoid repetition and improve grammatical range.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?