Some people say that in the modern world, getting old is entirely bad. Others, however, say that life for the elderly nowadays is much better than it was in the past. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

The fast-paced modern world has raised concerns about decreasing
life
Correct your spelling
the
show examples
quality of elderly
individuals
, which many
people
believe
life
was better in the past.
While
others think senior
life
has been developing. In
this
essay, I
would
Wrong verb form
will
show examples
delve into both perspectives, and I firmly believe that the current time has increased the
life
standard of mature
people
. On the one hand, the current world has several negative impacts on the elderly's
life
satisfaction.
Firstly
, corporations worldwide have been producing massive amounts of chemicals that harm the ecosystem.
Consequently
,
this
practice creates an unhealthy environment for the elderly when they engage in their daily activities.
For example
, several retiring
people
have to leave urban areas when they have been diagnosed with cancer
due to
bad air surroundings.
Secondly
,
airplanes
Change the spelling
aeroplanes
show examples
have become a phenomenal form of transportation, enabling young
people
to explore diverse cultures and discover new opportunities.
However
,
this
trend
also
has the drawback of leaving elderly
individuals
behind, resulting in less time spent with their relatives.
On the other hand
, for the most part, elderly
people
have several benefits from the modern. When it comes to the current housing dilemma, mature
individuals
remain largely unaffected as they already possess substantial properties. So, they can generate a stable income through selling or renting these estates.
Furthermore
,
individuals
can find entertainment at home through television and the
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
, providing a source of happiness and enjoyment without expending enormous energy. Video games, film streaming, online news, and virtual chatting are some entertainment media that old
people
can access. In conclusion, the quality of
life
for the elderly has improved in the modern world
..
Replace the punctuation
.
...
show examples
It provided them
enormous
Change preposition
with enormous
show examples
income and less energy activities.
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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • elderly
  • modern world
  • decline
  • physical
  • mental health
  • diseases
  • disabilities
  • social isolation
  • loneliness
  • access
  • healthcare
  • medications
  • lifelong learning
  • personal growth
  • social support
  • community engagement
  • positive aspects
  • negative aspects
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