Children are facing more pressures nowadays,from academic,social and commerciale perspectives. What are causes of these pressures and what measures should be taken to reduce these pressures?

It is irrefutable that today's
children
are pressurised and are facing academic, social and commercial challenges. There are a number of reasons and solutions
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
this
occasion, which will be highlighted in the next paragraphs. It is an undeniable fact that
children
are under pressure
by
Change preposition
from
show examples
pa rents
Correct your spelling
parents
show examples
who always want their
children
to excel in
evry
Correct your spelling
every
field.
Thereore
Correct your spelling
Therefore
, they send
children
to extra lessons live English, Russian and
mother
Correct pronoun usage
their mother
show examples
tong tongue as
parents
thing
Correct your spelling
think
show examples
that
such
classes will help them to find a rewarding position by opening many avenues for their future, Undoubtedly
children
go to schools, where school bags are heavier than themselves, which means they have excessive homework tasks,
as a result
, they don't have enough time to bloom and show their hidden talents. though
Moreover
,
parents
force
children
to follow traditions that
children
extremely hate. Without a doubt,
this
causes
children
rebel
Add the particle
to rebel
show examples
against rules laid by
parents
, so
reletionhips
Correct your spelling
relationships
between
parents
and
children
get progressively worse day by day. What is more, nowadays commercial
pespectives
Correct your spelling
perspectives
perspective
are experienced by
children
.
For example
, when
children
see their
peer
Fix the agreement mistake
peers
show examples
who have luxury items.They
also
want to
passes
Change the verb
pass
show examples
such
things and ask their
parents
to purchase
for
Correct pronoun usage
them for
show examples
them. When
parents
say that they can't afford to buy costly items
due to
financial difficulties
Children
get stressed.The solutions are very simple despite
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
these challenges.First of all,
parents
should understand their
children
to be talented
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
every field in
this
world. They should encourage them to spend more time
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
classes that they are interested in
Furthermore
, The biggest onus is on The school and
teacher
Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
show examples
to solve social and commercial issues as They should organize
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
competitions for
children
,
as a result
, they
allocall
Correct your spelling
allocate
time to
sport
Add an article
the sport
a sport
show examples
which can help them reduce their pressure, related to finance And socializing with their
parents
. То sum up it can be reiterated that academic, social and financial
messures
Correct your spelling
measures
are experienced by
children
. The causes and measures were discussed above.
Submitted by ieltsteaching0 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Ensure that the essay addresses all parts of the question and provide more specific examples to support the ideas.
coherence cohesion
Improve the organization and structure of the essay. Add a clear introduction and conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Expand the explanations and provide more supporting details for the main points.
lexical resource
Use more precise and varied vocabulary to enhance the essay.
grammatical range accuracy
Review the grammar usage and try to avoid repetitive phrases.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: