People are living longer after they retire. What are the problems? What can be done to solve these problems?

#people

It has been observed that seniors are living longer into

retirement

, causing financial

burdens

and pressure on the

healthcare

system. In

this

essay, I will explain these

problems

in detail and recommend potential solutions to improve the situation. One of the primary

problems

associated with living longer after

retirement

is the financial

burdens

it places on individuals and governments. To be more specific, many retirees may find it challenging to sustain their desired quality of life

due to

increased living costs,

healthcare

costs and inflation. Under

such

circumstances, pension

funds

and

retirement

savings may not be always sufficient to cover

such

expenses, causing financial stress. Another issue is the strain on the

healthcare

system.

This

is because when people get older, they are more likely to develop age-related health

problems

, leading to an increase in demand for

healthcare

services.

This

surge in demand can overwhelm the

healthcare

infrastructure, causing a longer waiting time and compromising the quality of services.

Nevertheless

, there are some solutions that can be implemented to overcome these

problems

Firstly

, employees themselves need to have a wise plan of spending and saving during their working periods to make sure that they have a sufficient amount of savings when they retire. Thanks to

this

preparation, they can support financially themselves, reducing reliance on pension

funds

and other forms of monetary assistance.

Secondly

, in certain developed countries, employers are required to make financial contributions to pension

funds

on behalf of their staff. These

funds

later can be used to cover the living expenses of the retired without placing

burdens

on the federal budget.

Lastly

, people are living longer after

retirement

, meaning that they may have enough health to continue working.

Thus

, governments can consider increasing the working age or encouraging retirees to do some part-time jobs to earn extra income. In conclusion, financial

burdens

on the national budget and pressure on the

healthcare

system are unavoidable

problems

that may arise when human expectancy increases. Only when appropriate approaches, including employees' wise financial plans, employers' financial contributions and increased working age, are adopted, can the situation be handled.

Submitted by nguyenlyacbd on Sat Oct 07 2023

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coherence cohesion

Make sure to clearly state the main problems and their causes in the introduction.

task achievement

Provide more specific examples to support your points.

coherence cohesion

Consider adding a concluding sentence to summarize your main points.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

348 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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People are living longer after they retire. What are the problems? What can be done to solve these problems?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

While travelling by metro train, your credit card slipped out of your pocket. You realized this only after reaching home. Write a letter to the concerned authorities and explain what happened.

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The government should control the amount of violence in films and on television in order to decrease the violent crimes in society. What extent Do you Agree or Disagree ??